Reader Q&A: Spotting submissives, pro work, casual play, loveliness

Oh how they pile up when I’m not looking: I do love that *smile*.

Let’s not waste time then!

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Ik neem aan dat Nederlands moet lukken … ik waag het er tenminste op.

Het idee om voor je te koken (naakt of in wat je ook wil dat ik voor je draag) is al een lekkere gedachte. Dat ik dan binnen de kortste keren vastgebonden op je bed kan liggen is helemaal heerlijk.

U heeft vast nog wel van die kinky dingen op voorraad :-)

*smile* Yes, Dutch works. And yes, I am full of the good ideas, … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Reader Q&A: How to explain that he wants to be ‘used’

I really want to do a bunch of ‘How to’ posts to cover ‘hints and tips for newbies’ because I see these kinds of questions all the time from both potential submissives and from potential dominants. They’re great questions that many people struggle with in one way or another.

Hello. when answering questions you often say to new Dom’s not take the airy fairy stuff like ‘I want to fulfil all your fantasies’ and ask their partners for more details. But what if a sub really gets turned on by the idea of being used instead of any particular acts. Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Reader Q&A: BDSM ‘feels less kinky’, and humiliation

I think to myself “I haven’t got enough questions for a Q&A post yet”, then when I think I have, I take a look and go “WTF?! THERE ARE SO MANY!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!”

Despite my tardiness in responding, I really DO like getting questions/comments/thoughts in my inbox a lot. Please don’t think I’m all “Bah, who cares?” about it. I’m not. I appreciate hearing from you, truly!

So, into the fray!

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How does a new domme find a mentor OR is it better to train as a sub first then become a domme? I ask in relation Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Reader QnA: Relationships and new starts

I’m answering Q&As from my Ask Me page. So, let’s go.

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Hello!

How does an older, mature submissive find an attractive female dominant close to his own age?

I am 69 years old, and basically a service submissive and masochist, who has a few fantasies, but nothing too extreme. I have been into the scene since my late teens.

It’s not that I haven’t tried, but like many of us, I had issues with trust early on.

I had a few missed opportunities when younger, and I have been very active online and in my local community, but now … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Reader QnA: How does a sub say no?

How does a sub say no at all. I read you blog entry on what to do if your sub says no but a harder question for a sub is how do you say no. Numerous times I have had very bad experiences because I didn’t feel I could deny my partner.

Recently My Lady put me through a scene that was several hours long. It was something I knew I would not enjoy but I felt I could not say no. Negotiation can not cover every possibility, I had simply never thought of this kind of play before. Now … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Reader Q&A: Energy in play and kissing dates

Advice and thoughts on nicknames, getting your needs met, building energy in play, and the intricacies of kissing dates.

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Hey there,
I’m an aspiring Domme. But I haven’t found a name I’m happy with yet. Any suggestions?
Thanks!
~Goddess _________

Hello there!

*smile* You are starting your name with ‘Goddess’ and you are asking someone who goes by ‘Ferns’. I think I can safely say “I got nothin'”.

My only advice is to pick something that is meaningful to you for whatever reason, and make it something that isn’t going to have you rolling your eyes at yourself a … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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Reader Q&A: Singledom & accents

I am blearily coming out of my December stupor of socialising, eating everything in sight, and drinking more than I ever need to. The normal routine of life will return shortly: shaking myself off, heading back to the gym next week. I’m expecting to have more energy to devote to things not involving making nice, and shoving things in my mouth, so perhaps more bloggery activity.

In the meantime, some lovely readers have landed in my inbox via my Ask Me page. Well, hello there!!

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Considering the estimated bazillion submissive men that get in touch with you (give or Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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