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Reader Q&A: Myers-Briggs (spoiler: INFJ)

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Have you ever taken the Meyers Brigs Personality Inventory, and if so, what was your type beyond being introverted?

I have. I did it as part of a serious exercise in something-or-other at work way back when, and have since done it again online for curiosity’s sake with the same result.

I’m an INFJ.
Introvert(78%) iNtuitive(25%) Feeling(25%) Judging(33%)

When I first did the test forever ago, I found great relief in the ‘introvert’ descriptor because it described me so well.

I know there are theories about D/s and how they are grouped under the personality types, but whenever I’ve seen … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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advice/  advice for Dommes/  QnA

Reader Q&A: Domination on his timetable

7 Comments

Hello wonderful Ferns,

I have started seeing a beautiful boi, who is alpha plus in his day job. This also means he is extremely busy. Sometimes this makes it hard to dominate him as we kind of work to his clock. I am okish with this as I admire his work, actually it really turns me on.. blah blah ANYWAY… Have you been in a similar position and how did you manage it? Or, alternatively do you know of some fet groups or blogs that discuss similar dynamics (im looking for tips, discussions on problems that come up). My biggest … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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about me/  advice/  advice for Dommes/  QnA

Blending D/s and vanilla

19 Comments

This cracker of a question was asked by someone on my Ask Me page all anonymous-like:

What is the best advice you can give to a new Domme? I’m feeling uncertain about how to blend the vanilla and the D/s in a new relationship.

It’s tough not only to be figuring out yourself and your needs but learning someone else’s, too! And yet difficult to separate the two.

It can be really tough, yes!!

I have a few posts that I have categorised as ‘Advice for Dommes‘, so please take a look at those for random snippets. This … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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QnA

Reader Q&A: How has your view of BDSM changed?

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Hello Gorgeous! Of course I have to keep you on your toes so I am going to give you a thought provoking question again.

Reflecting back on when you first discovered the lifestyle and where you are at today would you say your view of the lifestyle has changed and how? Also, what do you think is the most difficult or influential lesson you have had to learn in the lifestyle?

Okay so it’s two questions then.

Respectfully,
mysticlez

Hello mysticlez *smile*!

Firstly, the term ‘the lifestyle’ bugs me. Not your fault of course, it’s commonly used. But it … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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QnA

Reader Q&A: Fears of a young Domme

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Dear Ferns,

I’m an 18-year-old girl who has (since I was sixteen) been interested in BDSM. I’m about to head off for college and I’m rather scared. I live in Texas, and I’m a science major beginning her first year of college. I know that it sounds like that shouldn’t matter, but in Science if you’re anything but the perfect little nerd people assume things about how you got to where you are in the male-dominated profession. It really makes me afraid of relationships, but at the same time I couldn’t image being anything other than aggressive when intimate. And … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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QnA

Reader Q&A: Toy supplier recommendations

8 Comments

My wife and I are rather new to the mistress/submissive world. We have greatly enjoyed it, so far, and it has been very therapeutic as well (she was raped, and I was molested for years, so it is empowering for her in a good way, and I find it liberating to willingly give up control).

We are having some trouble finding good retailers of a few products, and were wondering if you could give some recommendations? Mostly looking for some sexy outfits for her, a good harness that has a pass through for a double since she likes the idea … Continue Reading

Loves: 1
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QnA

Reader Q&A: Languages & vanilla relationships

4 Comments

I’ve been answering questions on my Ask Me page for AGES now, and that page is getting hellishly long. For real. Go look. I’ve been busy, yo!

I’ve not been creating individual posts out of them because I generally bang them out quickly with little real introspection (or editing!), so I had this idea that they weren’t somehow *worth* their own post. But some of the questions are really thoughtful, or quite common, and I suspect that you good folks might have something useful to add that I haven’t thought of, or an experience to share that might help.

So … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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