musing

Food for the soul

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© Food for the soul, photos by Ferns

I’m spending time with family in this week leading up to Christmas, and for Christmas day itself.

For a while there it looked like we may not be able to spend Christmas together because of covid-related travel restrictions.

To make sure we could have time together, at the peak of the restrictions we booked a place in the mountains in a ‘neutral’ travel zone that everyone in our small family could get to. In the meantime, the state borders opened up again, and then just closed again a few days ago after we got here. The situation changes unpredictably and … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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musing

Femdom ramblings

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'Green plant beside white desk' by Johnson Wang

Long time readers know about my femdom ramblings, which are less ABOUT femdom, but they are BY a femdom so I’m still claiming it. I do these femdom ramblings from time-to-time when I’m struggling to come up with topics to write about because my head is fuzzy, but I still want to write something or I fear I will never put anything down ever again.

I’m very much trying to keep my blog a positive space, so I do not want to post negativity but I’m also somewhat struggling to think positively. I know without a doubt that I’m not … Continue Reading

Loves: 20
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musing/  random memories

From relationships past

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Creative Commons BY-SA 4.0 mark'Old clock close up' by Illymarry

Little reach-outs from relationships long past are strange things. I’ve mentioned a few over the years but was musing over a few others that came out of the blue.

None has had the same impact as my first submissive’s, but those jolts from the past were still a surprise.

My first proper boyfriend: 15 years later

I can’t remember the last time I saw my first proper boyfriend from when I was 16 or 17, but our end was tumultuous. I essentially left him for my girlfriend, which I’m sure was hard to take as a young man. … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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femdom dating/  random memories

Later that afternoon

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Public domain mark'Bike, sea' by Unknown

Cycling north along the beach with the wind at our backs, the sun shining, and the surf endlessly rolling in, we could only just see our destination. The headland, far off in the distance, the salty haze making it shimmer in the distance. There was almost nobody around. Someone walking their dog, another person fishing, a surfer out the back of the break. Then miles of empty beach.

I always like the idea of a bike ride a lot more than I like any actual bike ride, and this time was no different. Even with the breeze behind us, the … Continue Reading

Loves: 22
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femdom relationships/  musing

Sometimes, he melts

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Three ice creams

Public domain mark'Three ice creams' by Aron Visuals

As an additional comment to this long-ago post about my telling a submissive man I’m smitten by that he’s beautiful, about his reaction to hearing it, I’m surprised that I didn’t mention that sometimes, he melts.

Sometimes I say the words and I see in his response a wordless kind of breaking down, a softening, a downing of walls, an internal sigh of surrender.

Getting him to that unguarded state is not so difficult: It can come from intensity, from sensation, from relentless attack. When all of his senses have been overloaded, when everything comes down, THEN he melts.

But … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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femdom relationships/  random memories

I want to bring it!

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Creative Commons BY-SA 4.0 mark'Freedom of writing' by Jakirseu

One of my past submissives was a professional writer, a poet, he had a beautiful way with words that I adored. His mind was a messy complexity of wild imagination, odd and loud, and full of pretty things, and he offered it up unfettered to me, revelling in my enjoyment of it. We would play with each other in that way, throwing words in each other’s faces, conjuring up a strange magic that would floor me every time.

I once pointed him to some writing that I liked.

“Here’s something you might enjoy,” I said innocently.

He curled his nose … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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about me/  musing

Bad memory problems

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Creative Commons BY 2.0 mark'Don't forget' by Rachel Demsick

I have a bad memory. Truly terrible. I actually think it contributes to my introversion because it means I run into awkward social problems:
“Oh, we’ve met before? Several times? Of course we have…”
“Meet… um… [blank]??”
“We saw that movie together? Did I like it?”

Then the non-trivial which is hundred-fold worse:
“Oh, you already told me your sister had cancer… :((” *wishes the ground would open up and swallow me whole*

At work I compensated by taking copious notes about EVERYTHING, making full use of my calendar, sending follow up emails after meetings confirming agreed outcomes, and … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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