If I knew then… (alt: on being a bitch)

Hi Ferns.

I have been spellbound by your relationship with your first. One because you have talked about it so b’fully and secondly because despite being deeply submissive I can be the the kind of person who would not give his mistress the shirt he was about to throw away.

Having aspergers I have considerable difficulty understanding people’s intentions and having been emotionally manipulated and bullied as a child I can be quite suspicious. I am also at that age when I can tell when something is wrong but not the experience or understanding to do something about it. So … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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Reader Q&A: Risk taking, safe words & nurturing doms

I sometimes shy away from publishing posts that are quite personal. I read and re-read them and tweak and re-tweak them, but in truth what I am doing is stalling while I psyche myself into it. Strange that it should still feel difficult sometimes, even after so long.

So thank you to those who submit questions on my Ask page. You give me an excuse to gently sidestep.

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Hello again, Ferns! And thanks for answering! XD

Since my last question there has been some changes: my “bro” (let’s just call him that) broke up with his girlfriend, apparently … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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Reader Q&A: Finding partners, fantasies, BDSM integration

A blessed rest from contemplating my own navel…

Let’s see who’s been hiding all up in my Ask box, shall we?

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I’m a 23 year old virgin male who is extremely submissive. Because of this, I have a hard time meeting women and always want them to take the lead (it has never worked). Any advice here? Kind of worried I may never find what I’m looking for.

My advice: Go where the dominant women are. Try both online venues and off. Get involved in online community discussions, put up some ads on BDSM personals sites, … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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Reader Q&A: Non-romantic D/s, erotica, damage

It’s December. I have just returned from 5 days up in the mountains with family. I have just invited family to stay with me for 3 or 4 days. Then I will spend Christmas day with family.

I love them dearly, but this time of year sucks my very limited social energy up like a huge black hole of suckiness.

Thank you to those who popped a question on my Asks page: you are my saviours from paralysed silence!

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Hullo! I just found your blog today, and holy shit am I loving this or what. (I spent half Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Sexual orientation

Your recent post “Once Upon a Time When I was a lesbian…” makes me want to ask a follow up question.

There seems to be a lot of good information that suggests sexual preference is deeply rooted, hard wired, if you will. In fact, many reputable researchers and therapists make strong cases that this doesn’t typically change over time, ie hetero flipping to lesbian, though bisexual is often recognized, of course.

But your anecdote does not seem to suggest bisexual, at least the way you described it in that post. It sounds more like changing…especially since you describe … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Reader Q&A: PIV sex, showing affection, young female dominants

I thought I would be mining all of my reader asks during November, but I have quite a few still hiding in my inbox: Thank you for them.

So here we go (wow, this got long…)!

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Hi I am a new Domme and have two online male subs. Both are married and they wifes know about it. One his wife sometimes joins in. He begged me to be his Domme. I am not sure how to this. What work and what does not work. I do want them to be safe and happy. One sub sends me his picutes Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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Communicating the hard stuff

NaBloWriMo[SubmissiveGuyComics is also doing a post for our NaBloWriMo project, though he’s hiding some of them on Twitter so if you aren’t following him, you should… ]

 

So the question for you all is – how do you communicate best? Within the dynamic or by stepping outside of it?

I see some form of this question come up from time to time and I suspect I normally give some answer without giving it a lot of real thought. This time I’m not really even answering the question at all. Ha!

I know that I’ve done poorly at … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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