This is about power imbalances and the controversial concept of ‘least interested’, so buckle up :).

“Do people really believe that the person that is the least interested in the relationship has the power?”

Yep. Absolutely yes. This is actually a real thing referred to in sociology, unimaginatively, as the ‘principle of least interest‘.

Power imbalances exist in relationships for any number of reasons, and I’d definitely say that the person who is the least interested has more power, whether they use it to control the relationship is a related, but slightly different question.

And I don’t think … Continue Reading

I don’t negotiate play in my relationships. The key part there being ‘in my relationships’.

To get to the ‘in my relationship’ part, we have already done the work, we know what’s in scope, we’ve established boundaries, we know each other, and he trusts me to make judgement calls about what we do when, and how. I know that kind of blanket consent is a thing some folks are uncomfortable with and I understand that it’s not a model that works for everyone. But for me and mine, I will get us there. And my submissive always has a safeword: … Continue Reading