From relationships past

Little reach-outs from relationships long past are strange things. I’ve mentioned a few over the years but was musing over a few others that came out of the blue.

None has had the same impact as my first submissive’s, but those jolts from the past were still a surprise.

My first proper boyfriend: 15 years later

I can’t remember the last time I saw my first proper boyfriend from when I was 16 or 17, but our end was tumultuous. I essentially left him for my girlfriend, which I’m sure was hard to take as a young man. … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Later that afternoon

Public domain mark'Bike, sea' by Unknown

Cycling north along the beach with the wind at our backs, the sun shining, and the surf endlessly rolling in, we could only just see our destination. The headland, far off in the distance, the salty haze making it shimmer in the distance. There was almost nobody around. Someone walking their dog, another person fishing, a surfer out the back of the break. Then miles of empty beach.

I always like the idea of a bike ride a lot more than I like any actual bike ride, and this time was no different. Even with the breeze behind us, the … Continue Reading

Loves: 22
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I want to bring it!

One of my past submissives was a professional writer, a poet, he had a beautiful way with words that I adored. His mind was a messy complexity of wild imagination, odd and loud, and full of pretty things, and he offered it up unfettered to me, revelling in my enjoyment of it. We would play with each other in that way, throwing words in each other’s faces, conjuring up a strange magic that would floor me every time.

I once pointed him to some writing that I liked.

“Here’s something you might enjoy,” I said innocently.

He curled his nose … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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When you know “I’m in love”

I’ve only been in love a few times and each time I ‘knew’ it differently. The realisation of love, the clarity of ‘I love you’ arrives for me in different ways. Sometimes a wave of everything that came before just catches up with me, sometimes some piercing emotion that almost lifts me off my feet.

I can romanticise those moments, but the one I remember most clearly, the one that perhaps shocked me the most was so very mundane, so ordinary.

I was in my late twenties, my man and I were at a friend’s place and he was showing … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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History revisited

Last year I received this email out of the blue.

I hope that you might by chance remember me… We met online some years ago, 90’s. Your tag was SweetAs… I asked you what you were Sweet as and your reply was chocolate ice cream melting on a summer day. My name is [redacted]. You and I enjoyed a lot of correspondence. Your first website had pixel that could be clicked on to see the hidden pages. I have searched your name a number of times and was lucky enough to find what you had on amazon.

You changed my

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Loves: 19
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“No man will ever have this…”

When I was a lesbian, one of the things that turned me on, wildly and stupidly, was the thought that ‘no man will ever have this…’

When we tangled up together, all long limbs and smooth skin, when I traced her amazing breasts, when she thrust her cunt into my mouth, when she reached to kiss me, when she showed off her perfect body, when she writhed with pleasure, when she made that ‘ohhh’ sound of arousal, when she moaned, when she fucked herself on me, when she tensed all of her muscles and came for me.

Particularly when … Continue Reading

Loves: 24
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Word power

When I first told him to call me ‘Ma’am’, he wasn’t happy about it. It made him uncomfortable. He LIKED using my name. He half heartedly protested.

“But ‘Sharyn’ has come to mean ‘Ma’am’ to me…” he said. “That’s what it MEANS.”

I didn’t change my mind though, and he dutifully started using it. Awkwardly at first. Warming up to it as time went on.

It became second nature after a while. I’m not sure how long it took. But it started slipping off his tongue easily, became a sweetness between us. To the point where using my name was … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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