I know full well that people’s expectations differ, of course I know that! But I have recently seen a discussion on a BDSM forum that makes me wonder how something that is a fundamental expectation in my relationships, so fundamental that I would not think I would have to stress it, is actually no big deal to others.

Here’s all of the pertinent information from the original post from a submissive:

I was supposed to go to a party with my dom and backed out at the last minute. i fucked up and i know i did. what do i

Random, unfiltered thoughts… tick tick tick tick…

Things are possible even if you wish they weren’t, or especially then.

She asked for $5 that I owe her… who asks for $5? Especially when she is far away, and it has to be given to another so that the other can put into her bank account… who does that?

My bed squeaks, lucky I am not having sex on it, I masturbate quietly, with terrible images of violence in my head, it still squeaks, though it doesn’t sound like sex, or violence, or anything interesting.

I am a little afraid and … Continue Reading

When I play, my submissive doesn’t get to just be the passive recipient of my attention. For me there is a feedback loop between my submissive and me that either works or doesn’t. It can’t be faked, it is part of D/s ‘chemistry’ for me, maybe others call it connection or intimacy or some such, but for me it is a combination of indefinable things. He feeds me with his honest and open reactions (lust, fear, pain, hurt, desire, embarrassment…), he reaches in and gives of himself, and I take it greedily and transform it into something else and point … Continue Reading

I have expectations of people I interact with, even if it’s just a friendly exchange. Those expectations vary depending on what my relationship is with them. This makes perfect sense, of course. My expectations of my boss, work colleagues, employees, of shop assistants, family members, casual acquaintances, friends etc are all slightly different.

My expectations of men, and particularly submissive men, tend towards something that could easily fall into a D/s dynamic, even if they are not potential partners. That is, if it is more than a casual encounter, if I think I will be interacting with them in more … Continue Reading