I am so fucking frustrated with the semi-anonymous nature of this blog and what it means for my writing.

Oh how easy it was to write when the boy I wrote about was mine: When I owned him and I owned our stories and they were mine to share as I wanted. The only rule I had for myself was to never write anything that would surprise or hurt him. And that was an easy guideline to follow because our communication was pretty damn good.

Now there are complications in writing about what is going on in my life because … Continue Reading

Nlikes over at My Dissolute Life has posted some graph porn showing his posting history (wow, he’s had some prolific months!).

I was jealous (I mean… graph porn!!), so I thought I would steal his idea and do the same. I thought I might even see some patterns since I feel like I am in a bit of a writing slump right now. Maybe it’s seasonal! Maybe it’s life stuff!

*click for bigger versions*

Hmmm… not really very enlightening. I average around 13 posts a month. I do remember a time when letting 2 days pass without a post made … Continue Reading

Do I want you to get attached to me?

Oh yes.

No-one ever asks this though.

“You missed me didn’t you?” I ask.

It’s a rhetorical question. I know the answer. I want to hear you say it anyway.

I like to be missed.

I like to be wanted.

I like to be so far inside that it’s unbearable.

I like desperation and fear of loss and emotions out of control.

I like all of those things that make it dangerous for you. Unsafe.

I know I am not supposed to like those things. I am supposed to be looking … Continue Reading