“Only submissive to someone special…”

There are a large number of newbie submissive men who seem to think they are the odd one out if they don’t just submit to everyone.

Usually those observations have this hideously aggravating flavour of special snowflakedness. They display a stereotypical view that has obviously come from a lack of experience or exposure to real life D/sers, and that has much to do with online silliness and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT (you KNOW I want to blame porn, but this isn’t even about the sexytimes part).

Their view is usually stated something like this:

‘Oh, I’m not like all

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Loves: 17
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Lucky

My sister will be here with me for my birthday on Friday. She will arrive tomorrow, so I will be struggling under the weight of her company already by the time Friday comes around.

We will drink too much champagne, talk too loudly, gesture too wildly, eat too much junk food.

On Friday evening, we will get dressed up like we never do, put on make up, and heels, and we will go out for cocktails and a fabulous dinner, swishing about like a couple of 6’2 polar opposite twins, she with her dark bob, me with my longer blonde … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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A wrongness

In general, I’m a pretty happy person. On a scale of 1-10, I’d say I average somewhere around a 7-8 in my every day life.

Sometimes, though, I feel like there is something wrong with me.

Mostly it’s some vague niggling thing in the back of my mind that lives there quietly and doesn’t bother me. In a lot of ways, I just don’t seem to function like other people in the world, and that’s okay. I realised this long ago and slowly, but I do remember some pivotal moments where I made decisions that changed who I was in … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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Overcoming resistance

Thumper recently wrote a post on his boyfriend Drew’s blog (in case you don’t know the context, Thumper is Drew’s (part time) submissive boyfriend). It’s a hot and interesting post that talks about resistance at its core, and it raises some points that I often have a lot of trouble articulating in a way that makes sense.

I commented on it with this:

I love this post from the sub perspective, thank you so much for sharing it.

“What I don’t really know about myself is where my illusory resistance to his dominance ends and is replaced with real Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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Vanilla vs D/s interactions

The truth is that I am harsher with men in my vanilla interactions than I am with men in my D/s ones. It’s not conscious really, it’s instinctive, but it’s absolutely true.

With submissive men that I am interested in, I trust that their heart is in the right place, that they are genuinely trying, that any issues will be easily and quietly rectified if I say a word or raise an eyebrow. Because that’s the kind of relationship that we both want. I’m also very aware of not waving my dominance over them like it’s some big stick, hyper-aware … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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Non-monogamy and me

Peroxide over at Submissive in Seattle wrote an introspective post about polyamory for the mono-amorous where he talks about what it was like to be in a poly relationship when he’s mono-amorous. Short version: it’s tough. Long version: go read it.

I’ve been meaning to write something about non-monogamy (really, non-monoamory, but god, what an awkward word!) for a while.

Partly because my First now identifies as non-monogamous so it’s come a little closer to home. There are multiple reasons why he’s ‘complicated’, that catch-all euphemism that can mean anything, but the term covers the overall state of him well. … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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Besties

It must have hurt like hell, but I can’t remember.

My best friend of my teen years. We were inseparable. A set. Always the two of us. Our names running together as if we were one whenever anyone talked about us, invited us anywhere, was looking for us.

“Where’s SharynEnMaria?”
“Are MariaEnSharyn coming?”

She was the funny one: social and likeable. I was the smart one: confident and caustic.

I loved her with an obsessive love that only teenage girls can really understand. Where all day every day still wasn’t enough to share all the things that we wanted to … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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