musing

Casual encounters

13 Comments

I wonder if my sex life would have been (be) radically different if I felt safe trying to get little snippets of what I want from casual partners, men I don’t know.

The safety aspect I mean here is not just about potential violence or sexual assault (though those are top-of-mind, of course), but about being able to have casual encounters play out in a way that works for me. Expecting that of a stranger is a big call, especially when it’s unconventional. Expecting him not to question it or angle for more in the moment is also a big … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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musing

I like bruises

14 Comments

Not on me, though that would be handy because I’m a delicate flower and always have bruises of some sort. You know the kind: those ones that appear in odd places and you have no idea how they got there. The ones where you run into something and think ‘Wow, that’s gonna bruise later’, but later when you find it, you have no recollection of what you did to deserve it.

Not that kind.

I like the ones that I leave on him.

The marks of time spent trying to get through his skin so I can touch him from … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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musing/  QnA

Calling him ‘boy’

27 Comments

I got this question in my Asks and it was a really good one, so I wanted to devote a post to it.

Read your most recent post on the Texan. May I ask why you refer to him or other men like him as “boy”? Perhaps it is a reflection of my age, but no adult male I knew would hear this word in any other way than an insult. Is this something the two of you discussed before hand? Is it not hard to relate to him as an adult when your name for him is “boy”? Thank … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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femdom relationships/  musing/  sex-voiced Texan

Do what you say you will do

65 Comments

I’ve said this before in different ways, but I’m going to say it again.

What I expect from potential submissives, or even submissive men I am just flirting with, is that they do what they say they will do. Every time. Reliably. Without fail.

Hell, I apply that rule to everyone, but with *other* people, I don’t really care either way. Do it, don’t do it, whatever. No skin off my nose.

With a submissive man who I might be feeling out for more than flirtatious banter, though, it’s everything.

It’s how I develop trust in them. It’s how I … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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musing/  randomness/  sex-voiced Texan

Update on stuff and things

16 Comments

As always when I don’t really feel like hitting ‘publish’ on any of my ramblings, I end up doing a general ‘what’s going on with me’ post, and sometimes that’s enough to kick me out of my stupor, so here it is.

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I had a couple of minor surgical procedures in the last few weeks (don’t worry, lovely readers, they are no big deal). One was to take care of some stuff, one was a check for some other bad stuff. Neither are worrisome, but there has been some prep and recovery time that makes me feel a bit … Continue Reading

Loves: 4
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advice/  femdom relationships/  musing

Fears of submissive men

41 Comments

Susannah Clary wrote an interesting post about her recent dating experiences where she mused that it’s taking many men into their 40s and 50s to discover and accept who they really are.

That led to her asking these questions:

To my readers who identify as submissive or switch men, how did/do you deal with fear and self-acceptance?
How can I help men I encounter to begin that journey of self-acceptance and overcome their fears?

I commented over there, but it was already really long and I had more to say, so I’m bringing it over here.

I don’t have … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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femdom relationships/  musing

On being emotionally fearless

4 Comments

I said in my last post:

When I talk about wanting a man who is emotionally fearless, it’s because I need him to hammer down those walls and throw himself into the fray over and over and take whatever hits are coming.

And I got a really smart question from the original asker:

“But don’t you think its possible that being emotionally fearless maybe difficult for someone not because they are afraid of stepping into the fray but because they don’t want to put someone they care about/serve in a situation where they are being ‘hammered’.”

Yes, absolutely. … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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