musing/  photo

Me and lingerie

12 Comments

I own two beautiful steel boned corsets, a couple of black lacy bras and some lace panties that I’ve had forever.

And that’s it for beautiful lingerie-type things.

I used to love lingerie way back when, but at some point I lost interest. Not because I don’t think it’s pretty and sexy, but because somehow it just became… impractical and too expensive and hard to justify.

Which it is, really.

But still, it sounds (even to me) like a terrible shame.

Most beautiful lingerie is expensive and impossible under the type of clothes I typically wear. My strappy summer … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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musing

Happy 2016!

18 Comments

To all of my fabulous readers and commenters, thank you for your support and loveliness over the past 12 months (and longer for many of you!). I hope that 2016 brings you and yours much joy and love.

I am emerging from several weeks spent with 24/7 family familyfamilyFAMILY. Given I’m an introvert and they are lovely but difficult people, I am mentally and emotionally depleted. When I got home yesterday, I blasted some music and danced around the house: bliss!

In lieu of a traditional end-of-year blog round up and graph porn, I shall leave you with my top … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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musing/  play

On using him

60 Comments

I get asked what my fantasies are relatively often. I think people expect to hear something relateable, something familiar, sexy, BDSM-ey, something doable.

But what I fantasise about, what I REALLY like and fantasise about, is to do what I want. To genuinely and honestly not give a shit what he wants. Whatever fucked up shit I want to do, let me do that. When someone talks about ‘using him’, mostly he doesn’t imagine it in the way I do.

And if we’re talking fantasies, I have a whole crew of men in mine whose bodies I can inhabit in … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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femdom dating/  meeting/  musing

Safety rules

9 Comments

Staying safe is a product of any number of things, and obviously this applies especially in the world of BDSM-related dating where it can be even easier for dangerous people to hide behind a veil of D/s type activities.

I’ve written before that newbies should do as I say, not as I do because what I SAY about safety actually makes a lot more objective sense than what I DO.

The reasons for that are many but the bottom line is that I trust my judgement. I feel like I am calling upon the gods of vengeance in saying … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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musing/  NaNoWriMo

I love you | Now I don’t

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One of the reasons I balk at saying ‘I love you’ is because when it’s not true any more, it’s as if I lied. There is some sappy ‘love is forever’ behind that thought. Even though I’m not sappy.

I’m reading the writings of a woman who was in love with a man who said he loved her. Then he broke up with her. The details are complicated and not relevant to my thoughts: what resonates for me is her overwhelming hurt and confusion over how he could love her, and then not.

“You said you loved me last week, … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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femdom dating/  musing/  NaNoWriMo/  Pilot

Antici…pation

2 Comments

I have organised a second date, a kissing date with the lovely boy I recently met.

I tweeted this yesterday while I was thinking about it:


Text: “Head full of kissing date possibilities. Anticipation might be one of my favourite things”

I got a great question about it via my Ask Me page:

How do you experience anticipation?

I love that question because it’s so hard to answer.

Anticipation is delicious because all of the possibilities are still in … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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musing/  NaNoWriMo

Manage your own shit

13 Comments

If a submissive contacts me with a friendly email and it’s clear (or becomes clear) that they are partnered, I don’t go and ask their dominant if it’s okay that we interact (not flirting, not arranging a hookup, just having friendly conversation). I assume that we are all adults and they can make their own decisions. It’s not my job to police other people’s relationships.

So if I’m corresponding with a submissive and I get an email from their partner that says something akin to ‘WTF?! HAVE YOU NO RESPECT?!’ my response is going to be bafflement that whatever problem … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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