survey

Survey 2011 Results part II

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More graph porn!

(click the graphs for larger, nude version…)

Explanation of categories:

  1. “In the Bedroom” – as a spice to sex
  2. ~
  3. “Scenes” – may involve sex or not
  4. ~
  5. “Kinked-up Day to Day” – light play whenever, chores are part of the dynamic, big decisions are made on an equal basis
  6. ~
  7. “Not Quite Everything” – the dom is in charge of most things, but there are carve outs, like family relationships, job, children
  8. ~
  9. “Really Everything Total Power Exchange” – no exceptions to the dom’s authority
  10. None

The majority of you want a D/s relationship with “Not … Continue Reading

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musing

WTF is with that hard limit?!

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People who include ‘children’ as a hard limit make me shouty.

The only reason I can see for doing it is if they actually believe that playing with minors is such a common and acceptable practice with most of the BDSM community that they have to differentiate themselves from the norm by stating it.

The only thought process that makes sense to me, that justifies including it, is this:

“Playing with kidlets is the norm, so I had better separate myself from *everyone else* by listing it as a hard limit. If I don’t have it listed, obviously everyone will

… Continue Reading
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photo/  shoes

Beautiful gift shoes

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I realised in writing this that I have never had a pair of shoes gifted to me. Not ever. Does that seem strange?

So these are the first. They are from a dear man who I have never met, am hugely unlikely to meet, but with whom I have developed a lovely email friendship through this blog.

In truth, I was concerned about accepting his offer, worried that I would feel uncomfortable receiving such a gift (perhaps a post for another time), but his genuine pleasure in it made it much fun.

Exciting package in the mail + beautiful shoes … Continue Reading

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survey

Sunday curiosity: Survey 2011 Results part I

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A huge thank you (again!) to everyone who participated in my recent survey. There were around 250 respondents (wow!). That’s a considerable increase over last year (see, if I had done a graph, that would have been a much more interesting factlet!).

My blog has changed quite a bit in the last year, as have my circumstances, so I was keen to see how that was reflected in the responses. Personally, I have become more open, I think, in what I share, however I also have less sexy sex blog content due to the fact that I ain’t gettin’ any … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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sent emails

My sent emails XX

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Hello someguy (I will not address you as “Slutsomeguy”, I find that distasteful when I don’t even know you),

My first question is “Why are you contacting me?”

Is it because I am local, identify as a Domme, and am somewhat age appropriate? In other words, is it because I will “do” to fulfil whatever needs it is you have?

What do you know about me? Where in the above missive have you demonstrated that you have taken even a single second to try to figure out what it might be that I want, if anything? One would think that … Continue Reading

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advice/  QnA

Q&A: Labia fascism

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Q:
I am 24 I still struggle with the fact that I have one labia larger then the other (in a big way) and I really do not know how to over come this.

A:

Grrrrr… I hate hate HATE that now our labia may not be ‘good enough’, words cannot express how much I hate it.

We see relatively few depictions of different shapes of women’s vaginas, they are not on display like cocks in bathrooms and dressing rooms, porn tends to have one type and one type only and in fact the soft porn laws here in Australia … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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musing

Who wears the pants? Are there pants?

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Dishevelled Domina has written a great post about F/m D/s relationships, drawing attention to the fallacy of female supremacy and female led relationships (FLRs) as the ‘One True Way of D/s’ for dominant women and submissive men to be in a relationship.

While I agree with the overall point (that F/m relationships do not have to be defined in any one way, except to suit the participants), and her preference is equality in her own relationship outside of their love life, I offered the following comment since the question it raises for me is “What is an FLR, anyway… and … Continue Reading

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