Why a personal trainer is just like a pro-Domme

You give the personal trainer money for their expertise.
You give a pro-Domme money for their expertise.

You tell the personal trainer what your goals are, and expect them to get you there.
You tell the pro-Domme what your goals are, and expect them to get you there.

If you have had a previous session, the personal trainer asks how it was, what you liked/didn’t like.
If you have had a previous session, the pro-Domme asks how it was, what you liked/didn’t like.

The personal trainer gives you an outline of what they are going to do with you in … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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e[lust] #44

I’m delighted to be in the top three picks alongside such great company! Yay!

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #45? Start with the newly updated rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Everyday D/s

Honesty sometimes feels like manipulation

Blood, life, sex… Continue Reading

Loves: 1
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Present

I bought him a present for Christmas.

It arrived at his house after he left on his travels and getting it to him had been an issue.

He finally got it today.

He sent me nearly 20 photos of him opening it: He knows I like to see his face. They start off incredibly silly and the tenor of them changes as he opens the package, the box, the bag, and then when he puts it on. It is a bracelet of soft leather and rope for every day wear, hints of cuffs and bondage subtle in it.

I have … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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Review: Fun Factory Stronic Zwei

I get offers to do sex toy reviews from time to time and I’m usually not really interested. I have no desire to turn this into a review blog. There are many MANY fabulous sex toy reviewers who fill that role extremely well.

BUT I have recently said ‘yes’ to two offers to review toys that I was really interested in because the companies that offered them actually treated me like a real person *gasp* instead of just spamming me with untargetted emails in a mass mailout in the hopes of a hit. So in summary, I am being a … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Works for me

There is a thing he does that works for me, and interestingly, it is most evident when I mention something that is *not* working. Then he gets a little frustration with himself for not being/saying/doing what I want, and he reaches for it, wanting to understand what happened. He turns it over in his head and worries at it. His desire to unravel it and get it right is like a solid thing between us, and he examines it as if it’s something in his way and then he tentatively chips away at it to get to the crux of … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Submission is not passive

Submission is not passive.

I remember a submissive saying to me once “It’s easy for me, I just have to turn up and do what I’m told…”

Yeah, good luck with that.

Submission is NOT about being passive. If someone chooses ‘submissive’ as a role because they think it absolves them of the responsibility to be an active and enthusiastically functioning participant in a relationship, they are going to be sadly disappointed.

I see a not infrequent attitude where men essentially say “My vanilla relationships failed because I didn’t do shit and she wasn’t happy with that… I just want … Continue Reading

Loves: 26
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On saying “I love you”

I don’t say “I love you” much. I am stingy with it, miserly. I hoard it to myself as if it might get used and old and dirty if I put it on the table.

I feel deeply and hard, but “I love you” is like taking out a huge knife and carving the words into skin, pain and blood spurting everywhere, cries of elation or hurt, his or mine, both sometimes.

The feeling comes slowly to me, I don’t trust it. I don’t trust it in others and I don’t trust it in myself. And when it comes easily, … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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