I want you to be silent

NaBloWriMo[SubmissiveGuyComics is also doing a post on ‘subtle cues’ for our NaBloWriMo project]

 

I don’t remember how we stumbled upon each other out in the internet void.

I was chatting a lot then, trawling for articulate cyber-sexers, seemingly voracious for that kind of mental masturbation.

His name was Dana, I remember looking him up when he gave me his details, being surprised to find that he was involved in politics. I never asked about his life. We never talked, not really.

Our exchanges were different from any others I’d ever experienced. Ethereal poetry floated hotly between us, the … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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“I’d hate to lose you…”

NaBloWriMo[SubmissiveGuyComics has also done a ‘leash’ post for our NaBloWriMo project]

 

chainleash

It was still early, all of us in black, seated around the table. Our appearance might have seemed gothically funereal except for the fact that we were at an Italian restaurant: eating pizza, drinking wine, talking, laughing.

My boy was sitting beside me, young, shy, nervous. Quiet. He wasn’t really mine. Not really. But for the purposes of public consumption, on this night he belonged to me. He wore my collar of simple leather, a silver clip connecting the D-ring to the chain that fell down from … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Relationships from hell

It had never occurred to me that I might be someone’s ‘relationship from hell’.

I have spoken about my own at times: in my mid-twenties, a relationship with a man who would not give an inch of ground on anything ever and into which I threw a level of rage I’d not have thought I had in me. A relationship that felt like a war zone into which I ran every day with guns blazing, wearing a deep and abiding unhappiness under my clothes, and wondering why I didn’t leave already.

It feels, almost, like a rite of passage, at … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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I adore a little jealousy

He had a work function one evening.

Academia: he and his fellows were meant to be grabbing new creative talent and sizing them up for their faculty. He had shyly asked me if I wanted to go. I didn’t, of course. He knew that well enough, but he asked me anyway.

“Of course!” I said.

He beamed at me. It wasn’t just that I would provide moral support: I knew that he wanted to show me off and I love that, truly.

And I was happy to be asked. It would be the first ‘public couple’ thing we had really … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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Lost

The first time I had him inside me. I was lounging low and careless on the couch, legs wrapped around him. We had been kissing, desperately and passionately grabbing at each other. I don’t remember our clothes coming off, or even if they were off.

He knelt before me, pushed himself excruciatingly slowly into me, joined at the cock and cunt.

He closed his eyes, his head went back, a blind prayer offered to the ceiling. He moaned. He pulled back, thrust forward again, slow, all sensation and pleasure, hands on my hips holding me steady.

I watched him lose … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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My threesome

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, my girlfriend and I were play partners with a male dominant. My limits were no kissing, no sex, no oral. He was allowed to touch me, but I wasn’t interested in touching him.

My girlfriend had no such limits, and was astride him when I walked into the bedroom we were all sharing.

He beckoned me onto the bed.

I said, “No thanks.”

He tried to convince me. I can’t even remember what he said, but I remember thinking “What a patronising bunch of bullshit”.

I said, “No thanks.”

He … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Random memories: Eclectic

Laying back in the bathtub, having my hair washed and conditioned, strong fingers massaging my scalp while I close my eyes and think of others.

___

I see myself as an indelible mark on those I’ve loved, stronger and deeper probably, than what is really there because my imagining is borne out of arrogance and ego, and yet I think it’s true, even while I admonish myself.

___

The first boy who loved me did so at 16, resentfully in the end when I didn’t do what he wanted, a want that I didn’t even realise he had, and which … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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