musing

Australianisms that I actually use

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I tend to think that I don’t really use Australianisms or slang so much, but then, I WOULD think that wouldn’t I? Some words or phrases are just so uniquely ‘Australian’, and I don’t realise it until I use them and find that they are completely incomprehensible to someone who isn’t Australian. It’s even funnier when I’m called on them (“Why do you say it like that?!”) because there are heaps that I can’t actually make ANY sense of myself. In short, I am often talking nonsensical gobbledygook.

So, for your amusement, here is a (non-exhaustive) list of Australian words … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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bambi/  musing

Thoughts and routines

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I want to write glorious things. I want to write about snippets of play with bambi, I want to write about how I am feeling, I want to write about what happened, I want to write about what’s next, I want to write about a lot of things.

Truth is, I am scattered. My head is all over the place.

It’s not necessarily bad.

It’s just… confusing in there.

Sometimes my head swims with random thoughts and they all fly around and one of them gets my focus for a moment and then I let it go because I realise … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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bambi/  musing

Post-bambi

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I will probably write more about bambi in the days to come, but in the meantime, this is really just a catch-up post.

Bambi left on Wednesday. It’s now Saturday.

I’m doing okay.

I expected to fall into a big messy pit of badness, but so far, I’m fine.

It feels wrong to say “I’m fine”, as if it’s a mean or disrespectful thing to say somehow. As if it is an insult to bambi. It’s not.

What I expected was to have a flurry of released emotions after he left, for all of them to just come tumbling out … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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about me/  musing/  QnA

Relationships and age differences

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I got this question on my Ask Me page, and it was such a good one that it made me get all rambly, so I figured I would turn it into a blog post.

What’s the biggest age gap you could accept in a relationship?

Ha! I love a succinct and difficult personal question!! Well done, you!

The answer is complicated.

My previous relationships have mostly been with men who were within 5-6 years of my age, and mostly younger. But that doesn’t answer your question.

I just checked my CM profile and my default search criteria is set to … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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body project/  exercise/  musing

Why a personal trainer is just like a pro-Domme

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You give the personal trainer money for their expertise.
You give a pro-Domme money for their expertise.

You tell the personal trainer what your goals are, and expect them to get you there.
You tell the pro-Domme what your goals are, and expect them to get you there.

If you have had a previous session, the personal trainer asks how it was, what you liked/didn’t like.
If you have had a previous session, the pro-Domme asks how it was, what you liked/didn’t like.

The personal trainer gives you an outline of what they are going to do with you in … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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advice/  advice for male subs/  musing

Submission is not passive

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Submission is not passive.

I remember a submissive saying to me once “It’s easy for me, I just have to turn up and do what I’m told…”

Yeah, good luck with that.

Submission is NOT about being passive. If someone chooses ‘submissive’ as a role because they think it absolves them of the responsibility to be an active and enthusiastically functioning participant in a relationship, they are going to be sadly disappointed.

I see a not infrequent attitude where men essentially say “My vanilla relationships failed because I didn’t do shit and she wasn’t happy with that… I just want … Continue Reading

Loves: 26
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about me/  musing/  my boy

On saying “I love you”

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I don’t say “I love you” much. I am stingy with it, miserly. I hoard it to myself as if it might get used and old and dirty if I put it on the table.

I feel deeply and hard, but “I love you” is like taking out a huge knife and carving the words into skin, pain and blood spurting everywhere, cries of elation or hurt, his or mine, both sometimes.

The feeling comes slowly to me, I don’t trust it. I don’t trust it in others and I don’t trust it in myself. And when it comes easily, … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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