musing/  randomness

New year’s eve

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I have hated new year’s eve for as long as I can remember.

The crowds, the desperate reaching for fun-times, the drunkenness, the random groping by strangers, the forced joie de vivre, the alcohol-fuelled ‘gis-a-kiss’ demands, the paniced avoidance of strangers’ grabby-handed slobbering on the stroke of midnight. I hated it all.

But it was a ‘thing’ for young people. A big thing. So I tried. Year after year I tried and each time I’d roll up the next morning hungover and remembering the horrible night I’d had navigating the same awful scenarios. I probably did have some good ones … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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audio/  musing

Baby: Audio

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This is what I sound like when I am slightly drunk, when I am writing and suddenly typing seems like too much trouble so I decide on audio instead, when I am languid and lounging on the couch, a slight slurring, almost in too much stupor to force the words past my lips…

I suspect this is similar to how I sound after sex.

___

I like the pet name ‘baby’.

It’s not because I infantalise my submissive.

It’s because to me it communicates sex and caring and sweetness, all of those.

I was going to write about this, but … Continue Reading

Loves: 21
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random memories

Careless words

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I read a post on The Drew Duality that stirred up a flurry of tiny memories.

Drew had a bad night with his partner, not because of some huge fight, but because of a couple of exchanges where his partner hurt him unintentionally.

It’s a post about expectations and saying the wrong thing.

We all have our moments of ‘wrong responses’ to things, and have all been on the receiving end of them also. And when I say ‘wrong responses’, I really mean those ones where we have careless interactions that are almost completely thoughtless in their nature. Those exchanges … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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random memories

My first crush

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I was tiny, a child, maybe 3 or 4 years old. I don’t know.

His name was Johnny. He was not a child. He was a grown man, the son of one of my parents friends. I have no idea how old he was, but he wasn’t an ‘older boy’, he was a proper grown up.

He was a in the navy, I must have seen in him in his uniform at least once. I remember it clearly. He was tall and slim and ever so handsome in his whites (photos bear this out, I had good taste even then).… Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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musing/  sex-voiced Texan/  the other men

Boys with sex voices

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A few emails exchanged with a Texan boy: he’s smart, fun, there is some light flirtation. He emails a throw-away line after making appreciative compliments about one of my recordings:

Him:
“If I had a clip of myself I’d send it to you.”

I tease him back.

Me:
“So is it your contention that you have no possible way to record an audio clip? Is that what you are saying?

Or are you saying ‘If I conveniently had one laying around I’d send it, but actually taking 10 minutes to do one is beyond my level of interest’?

Or … Continue Reading

Loves: 4
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femdom dating/  femdom relationships/  musing

Traditional power signifiers and D/s

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I like to think I’m above it, of course: giving value to traditional power signifiers conveyed by social norms.

But I’m not.

Education, sophistication, success, intelligence, achievement, wealth are all ways that many of us ‘traditionally’ place people on the power spectrum. I know some of you are now going ‘not all of us!’ and I know that. I ALSO want to go ‘not me!’, but that’s not true. I’m pretty solidly middle class and grew up with those values.

I recently spied on some people I used to know at school and university using my friend Google, and my … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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musing/  NaNoWriMo/  randomness

NaBloRrrrawrMo – The end

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NaBloWriMo[SubmissiveGuyComics is also doing a post for our NaBloWriMo project, though he’s hiding some of them on Twitter so if you aren’t following him, you should… ]

 

Aaannndd… day 30 of NaBloRrrrawrMo. 30 days of posts for November. Thirty days: THIRTY-TWO POSTS!

*flops on the couch*

This kind of ‘forced’ writing is interesting. I think it’s good for me. I posted things I would normally sit on for ages, and perhaps never hit ‘publish’ on (thereby adding to the 26,000 words already in my drafts :P). I wrote some very personal posts and experimented with my … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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