advice/  femdom relationships/  musing

Fears of submissive men

41 Comments

Susannah Clary wrote an interesting post about her recent dating experiences where she mused that it’s taking many men into their 40s and 50s to discover and accept who they really are.

That led to her asking these questions:

To my readers who identify as submissive or switch men, how did/do you deal with fear and self-acceptance?
How can I help men I encounter to begin that journey of self-acceptance and overcome their fears?

I commented over there, but it was already really long and I had more to say, so I’m bringing it over here.

I don’t have … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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femdom relationships/  musing

On being emotionally fearless

4 Comments

I said in my last post:

When I talk about wanting a man who is emotionally fearless, it’s because I need him to hammer down those walls and throw himself into the fray over and over and take whatever hits are coming.

And I got a really smart question from the original asker:

“But don’t you think its possible that being emotionally fearless maybe difficult for someone not because they are afraid of stepping into the fray but because they don’t want to put someone they care about/serve in a situation where they are being ‘hammered’.”

Yes, absolutely. … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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femdom relationships/  happy femdom story

Happy femdom story – Master Joy’s boy

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I cannot tell you how delighted I was when I read this story. It was Sunday morning, and I had my coffee in hand when I opened my emails. Moments later I was almost in tears with an idiot-smile on my face as I read this absolutely wonderful happy-making tale *delighted sigh*.

Author: Master Joy’s boy

I saw your call for sharing happy and healthy stories. Thank you for all the work that goes into making your site happen.

The realization hit me I can either continue lurking or stop being lazy (Ferns, you think you are lazy… I’m … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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femdom relationships/  First

Something between us

20 Comments

There is something between us.

He felt it early on, some pull towards me, ghosts of our D/s relationship tugging at something in him.

You still have a hold over me. How? Why?
I hate it.
Is there something about submitting to a person that can never be undone?

He has never submitted to anyone else, so it makes sense that as he has unravelled past hurts and the idea of submission comes tentatively floating back, it would be tied to me. I’m his link to that part of himself. His only one. All of the intense emotions, the impossible … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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femdom relationships/  First

On not feeling loved

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I’ve written about the things I screwed up in my relationship with my First and touched on how I didn’t feel loved.

One of the things that I learnt from that relationship is that submissive behaviours can obscure traits that I would have seen a mile off in a vanilla man, but didn’t yet have the experience to see in a submissive. If you overlay ‘submission’ on a relationship, it can be harder to pinpoint where a feeling of disquiet is coming from (the same is true of dominants of course) because the agreed D/s behaviours can hide what’s underneath. … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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femdom relationships/  First

Short circuiting

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My First: Are you sure the wine and yourself haven’t made each other’s acquaintance tonight?
Me: Shush!
First: Yes Ma’am
Me: …
…
…
jfdjlgjlkbalkjfdjkl;fj
*laugh*
First: That’s the first thing you’ve instructed me to do since we moved apart
Me: I was thinking VERY IMPORTANT THINGS! Stop short circuiting me!
First: Sorry Ma’am
Me: Bzzzttttt
…
Seriously, I can’t put a coherent thought together now. Holy fuck.

___

Apparently some things retain their power.… Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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femdom relationships/  First

First meeting and onwards

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My First and I met in a BDSM chat room, on IRC. I can’t remember the details. What I remember is that we were attracted to each other, got chatting, emailing, talking, we exchanged photos. There was definitely something there.

He was some 6 years younger at 25, lived about 900kms away, had just finished his masters. He was restless, was looking to move, he was unhappy where he was, I can’t remember why exactly. He had had what to me seemed like a lot of BDSM experience: lots of different partners, lots of different kinds of public play, lots … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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