advice/  advice for Dommes/  NaNoWriMo/  QnA

Reader Q&A: How to make someone cry

7 Comments

Dear Ferns,

I am a very inexperienced novice dom and I recently met this guy who is willing to submit to me. I liked him so we tested the water. Although the scene was tough for him, he didn’t cry, not a single tear. I tried my best to humiliate him since I was looking forward to seeing his crumpling face with tears and whimpering, but found out he doesn’t feel that humiliated easily.

The thing is, I get off on a grown man crying, not giving the pain itself and he is more of submissive, less of masochistic. Also, … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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advice/  advice for Dommes/  QnA

Reader Q&A: How to reject someone

6 Comments

So I just had a scene with a perfectly nice sub boy, after which he left all smiles and eager to do it again, and I felt … kind of awful and have no interest in seeing him again. I don’t know why, nothing went wrong, and it’s never been an issue with previous people, so that’s upsetting in itself, but now I’m feeling weird and awkward about how to tell him there will be no more, especially when he had such a great time and I don’t think was at all aware that I was having a ‘nice but … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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advice/  advice for male subs/  musing

“Only submissive to someone special…”

62 Comments

There are a large number of newbie submissive men who seem to think they are the odd one out if they don’t just submit to everyone.

Usually those observations have this hideously aggravating flavour of special snowflakedness. They display a stereotypical view that has obviously come from a lack of experience or exposure to real life D/sers, and that has much to do with online silliness and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT (you KNOW I want to blame porn, but this isn’t even about the sexytimes part).

Their view is usually stated something like this:

‘Oh, I’m not like all

… Continue Reading
Loves: 17
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advice/  advice for Dommes/  advice for male subs/  QnA

Reader Q&A: Genderfluidity, LDR to live-in & attraction

6 Comments

Q&A time!

These questions came in from some lovely readers via my Ask Me page. I do love that you ask me things, thank you for them!

In case you sent one in and don’t see it here, no this is NOT all of them… the post got really long, so I saved some for later.

So let’s goooo…

___

Dear Ferns,

I recently came across your first book while researching for a speech I’m giving on BDSM; though it ended up being a bit too *ahem* in-depth for the speech, on note, I thoroughly enjoyed it! (Enough that I’m … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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advice/  advice for Dommes/  advice for male subs/  QnA

Reader Q&A: Vanilla, young lovelies, cookies

6 Comments

These questions landed in my inbox via my ‘Ask me’ page… Thank you for them!

—

Dear Ferns,

This is a bit difficult to word so bare with me please (:

I have denied my Top side for a very long time.

When I was single I could be quite aggressive sexually and then I met my husband. He opened up a softer side of me and I have become very comfortable letting him lead. Now I find myself thinking about “activities” that I would love to do but my husband is both extremely hetero and kind of a … Continue Reading

Loves: 1
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advice for male subs/  scam

Reader Q&A: Am I being scammed?

3 Comments

I’m newly introduced to potential fem dom /sex slave thing, and after receiving couple email tasks, very hot pictures and a 1min long video clip, I’m tempted to get in. My mistress(she wants me to call her such) is now asking for training kit fee of $1200 for equipment and toys via western union, moneygram or interact -e-transfer.

Is this normal or scam?

She seems very good at what she’s doing in manipulating my mind, and I am truly probably going to make the commitment and then find out if it was a scam indeed. I have been convinced this … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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advice/  femdom relationships/  musing

Fears of submissive men

41 Comments

Susannah Clary wrote an interesting post about her recent dating experiences where she mused that it’s taking many men into their 40s and 50s to discover and accept who they really are.

That led to her asking these questions:

To my readers who identify as submissive or switch men, how did/do you deal with fear and self-acceptance?
How can I help men I encounter to begin that journey of self-acceptance and overcome their fears?

I commented over there, but it was already really long and I had more to say, so I’m bringing it over here.

I don’t have … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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