Heh.

I went flyboarding a few weeks ago.

“A flyboard is a type of water jetpack… A flyboard rider stands on a board connected by a long hose to a watercraft. Water is forced under pressure to a pair of boots with jet nozzles underneath which provide thrust for the rider to fly up to 15 metres in the air or to dive headlong through the water.” – Wikipedia

And when they say ‘dive headlong through the water’, they really mean ‘crash inelegantly while screaming’.

It looks like I’m doing something fancy in these fabulous action shots, but both … Continue Reading

I saw this attempt to have cybersex with Cleverbot on tumblr and it made me laugh so hard :D.

I’ve had some fun with Cleverbot before, but not attempted cyber fornication. Of course I thought “Imma try this”!

Me: Cybersex.

Cleverbot: You are cyborg?

You start.

Okay. Banana.

*takes off shirt*.

Is that legal?

*takes off pants*.

Now kneel.

*kneels*.

Now say, I will obet [sic… wtf?].

I will obey.

We will obey each other.

No, you will be my bitch.

I will be your slave…

Kiss my feet, slave.

*kisses master’s feet*.

Not master, Mistress.

Sorry, mistress.… Continue Reading

Come and have a seat and let me tell you what’s going on with me…

NOTHING!!

NOTHING IS GOING ON WITH ME!!!

*sigh*

So I’m going to hark back to some random things that I left hanging.

What happened to balloon guy?

He replied to my email quite politely, and it was clear that he was in fact skilled in cleaning (he ran some sort of office maintenance company), but the tone of his email was off-putting to me. Even though it was polite enough, it was clear to me that he really wasn’t interested in engaging with me, … Continue Reading

I know the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer is all over the internet, but perhaps we can do better.

I just found this: an Australian movie called ‘My Mistress‘.

From IMDB:

What starts as a beautiful and strangely innocent affair between a vulnerable teenage romantic and a French S&M mistress soon becomes more dangerous.

It’s a long hot summer for Charlie Boyd. He’s sixteen, his hormones are raging and he’s just found out his mother is having an affair with his father’s best friend. One thing takes his mind off his problems, the mysterious woman down the … Continue Reading