It’s hard to write about the issues I have with the lines blurring between professional and lifestyle Dommes without sounding like I’m anti sex workers.

But I’m not. I think pro-Dommes are amazing.

I think skilled, ethical real-world pro dominants do an awesome and valuable job. The good ones invest considerable time, energy, and money into their craft, their spaces, their equipment and into making sure their clients get what they paid for, both physically and emotionally. I think it’s a difficult job, and they deserve every penny of the money they make.

I think skilled, ethical online pros and … Continue Reading

Phew!

You’ve had a whole barrage from me this last month. I’ve just been blurting stuff out all over the place :).

I don’t know how some really prolific posters do it, honestly.

I tend to only write if I have Something To Say. Plus I don’t really want to repeat stuff I’ve said before. PLUS I don’t have a lovely sub to actually talk about. And all of that makes posting so often a challenge.

Still, I think it was good for me to flex a bit of that ‘STFU & write’ muscle.

Posts will slow down some now, … Continue Reading

Here’s a handy guide to figuring out what people are saying in their kinky personal ads.

“looking for a true dom/sub”: I’m new here.

“I want complete control”: I haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“no limits”: I also haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“I’ll do anything”: As long as it’s hot like what I’ve seen in porn.

“discreet”: Having an affair.

“discrete”: Having an affair, but not very good with English.

“looking for a dominate/I am a dominate”: Aw, bless.

“I’m just an average person”: I’m boring.

“I’m not your average person”: I’m very boring.… Continue Reading

I see online domination mentioned, and I can imagine what it means, but I’m wondering what exactly does it mean to you, if you have an online dynamic. —Question on Fetlife

Assuming we’re talking about online-only interactions, I think for the majority of people (both dominant women and submissive men) it means online play of some sort, mostly ‘her telling him to do things that get him off’. Whether that involves jerk off instructions, sex chat, humiliation, butt stuff, self-spanking, whatever: The underlying objective is the same. At its best, both of them find it hot and fun. At its … Continue Reading