musing/  sent emails

My sent emails XL: On younger men

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I guessed his age at late 20s: He’d just turned 30. He made a joke about his immaturity giving it away. Which was amusing, but entirely untrue. He’s an articulate, smart, engaging man who has only been in my inbox for a very short while, but already I enjoy him a lot.

It’s interesting, the age thing. I’ve written various pieces about it before, but my guessing relatively accurately how old he was led me to think a little more about how I knew.

I explained it like this:

…(generalisation warning…) some younger men have a quality about them that … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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musing

On hate mail

32 Comments

I’m lucky. I don’t get a lot of hate mail despite my prolific presence on the internet.

But I do get some. From strangers with whom I have never interacted as far as I know.

The last couple:

“You sound high maintenance and up yourself” – 58M

“Old disgusting bitch” – 31M

These are mild, I know many people get much worse. I recorded this one that was so over the top that it made me laugh.

I don’t react with hurt or shock: mostly I’m just baffled by it. The ‘why’ is beyond my grasp. I just can’t imagine … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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random memories/  the other men

My threesome

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Once upon a time, in a land far far away, my girlfriend and I were play partners with a male dominant. My limits were no kissing, no sex, no oral. He was allowed to touch me, but I wasn’t interested in touching him.

My girlfriend had no such limits, and was astride him when I walked into the bedroom we were all sharing.

He beckoned me onto the bed.

I said, “No thanks.”

He tried to convince me. I can’t even remember what he said, but I remember thinking “What a patronising bunch of bullshit”.

I said, “No thanks.”

He … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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musing/  play

My hand around your throat

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“I like your hand around my throat,” he said when I released his mouth and let him breathe.
– holy-fuck-beautiful-eyes

So. Very. Hot.

There is an inherent vulnerability in the offering of the throat, the pulsing jugular, the potential for damage right there. I always thought of his hair as the most easily-grabbed, it was my go-to, my default, but having been with a man who suited a crop-cut, I unconsciously retrained myself. Now it’s the throat.

It is instinctual now, that my hand goes there. It is symbolic and thoughtless.

There is so much to love about it. … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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musing/  vanilla

Me and my vanilla ex

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My last vanilla ex was my longest term relationship. I talk about him quite a bit on twitter.

He is a wonderful man: attractive, smart, attentive, sweet. He is my closest friend.

Relationship-wise, he puts most self identified submissive men to shame with his behaviour. We had known each other via a common circle of friends for some time before we dated. On our second date, he brought me a gift of towels because I had been to his place and had commented on his amazingly soft and gorgeous bath towels. I never thought a thing of the comment I … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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musing

Stealing a submissive

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I’m always baffled when I hear about how someone ‘poached’ or ‘stole’ another person’s submissive.

It just makes no sense.

Are there people who will go after someone who is already partnered up? Sure. They might do it with a vengeance, and they might employ all of their considerable charm, and offer cookies. If you want to get angry at those people for displaying a lack of ethical behaviour, then that’s fair enough. Go for it.

But submissives aren’t inanimate objects with no agency of their own, no matter what anyone says.

If they leave their partner to be with … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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random memories

Random memories: Eclectic

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Laying back in the bathtub, having my hair washed and conditioned, strong fingers massaging my scalp while I close my eyes and think of others.

___

I see myself as an indelible mark on those I’ve loved, stronger and deeper probably, than what is really there because my imagining is borne out of arrogance and ego, and yet I think it’s true, even while I admonish myself.

___

The first boy who loved me did so at 16, resentfully in the end when I didn’t do what he wanted, a want that I didn’t even realise he had, and which … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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