about me/  femdom relationships/  musing

Sleeping together

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I don’t sleep well with another in my bed. I don’t sleep well at all for the most part. This tenuous relationship with sleep makes it precious, sacrosanct. There are few things more irritating than having my sleep interfered with.

I need to feel very comfortable with someone to want them in my bed, and if I don’t have that level of comfort, I don’t share well. I will lie there restless, unable to relax, hyper-aware that they are *just there*.

I let bambi fall asleep in my bed one night when he was here. We had played for some … Continue Reading

Loves: 20
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femdom dating/  femdom relationships

He’s just not that into you

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You know what I liked about that movie? It gave us a short, easy phrase to explain this oh-so-simple concept.

And it really *is* simple.

Let me preface this with ‘in my experience’…

Men who are interested in you will move heaven and earth to be with you. They will.

They will be thinking about you as they go about their day, they will make you a priority, they will consider your feelings, they will work to make you happy, they will be clear if they are unavoidably busy for a while, even then they will still make time … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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advice for male subs/  femdom relationships/  musing

Supporting your dominant’s dominance

79 Comments

Sometimes submissives ask how they can help their dominant (especially their *new* dominant) become more comfortable in her dominance.

Come here, and I will let you in on a secret…

Ssshhhh…

Ready?

Here it is:

Submit!

Seriously. Do that.

I know it sounds as if I am being cute or something, but I’m not.

Do you want to know what I probably needed most from my submissive when I was finding my feet?

  • A safe space in which to assert myself.
  • To be certain that when I ask for something, he will comply.
  • To be confident that he is eager
… Continue Reading
Loves: 20
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bambi/  femdom relationships/  musing

Oh, there I am

10 Comments

Earlier this year, I talked about how I worry sometimes that I’ve lost the hunger that drives my dominance. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it only comes alive when I have someone I want to aim it at.

When I haven’t felt it for a while, it becomes like some distant thing. Vaguely remembered, but shadowy, intangible.

Even though it didn’t work out with bambi, I am beyond delighted and grateful that he was a perfect target for the hunger. It was especially strong in the beginning before the emotional complexity complicated things and muted it. I got … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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femdom relationships/  happy femdom story

Happy femdom story – AudioDiva

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The lovely AudioDiva was kind enough to share the story of meeting her boy, and how their relationship developed. She sweetly added that ‘life is pretty fantastic’, and their story bears that out. It’s just lovely *happy sigh*.

Author: AudioDiva

I met My boy last year while I was in the middle of a bad break up from my vanilla husband. My ex & I were in the BDSM scene when we met 10yrs before, but our relationship had always been vanilla & there came a time when our differences made it impossible to continue. I felt very broken, … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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femdom relationships/  happy femdom story

Happy femdom story – Neophyte

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Lovely young submissive man shyly enters the fray. Goes bravely to a munch, as per the advice of many. What happens next? Well, he has kindly shared it with us. Read on!

Author: Neophyte

I read a comment somewhere, by someone, that there aren’t enough stories on the Internet about how D/s relationships start, so I thought I’d share my experience.

I’ve had “kinky” thoughts basically for as long as I’ve had sexual thoughts. It wasn’t until last summer, at age 28, that I decided to actually pursue kink. After some searching around online, I found the most common advice … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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about me/  femdom relationships

I’m selfish

38 Comments

I think of myself (and describe myself) as selfish (and lazy… yeah, I’m a real catch!), but the complication is that I can only be selfish (that is, be comfortable ‘being who I really am’) in an environment where I know that my boy feels wanted and loved in it. I need to know that he is thinking, “Yay, I love it when you are all selfish and I can run off and do these things for you!”, all skip-happy like.

I can be (and have been) selfish in vanilla relationships, and it’s terribly unfair, and my partners have loved … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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