How far away is ‘too far’?

For me, distance is a practical problem: A logistical and financial hurdle for a relationship, not a show stopper.

The must-have for it to grow, though, is communication that works extraordinarily well from afar. And by that I don’t mean ‘being able to string articulate sentences together’, I mean ‘being able to reach out in a way that fires me up, that punches my heart with its power’. And vice versa. That’s a big call, of course. It’s like the remote version of chemistry, impossible to quantify, but I know it when I feel it.

I sometimes wonder if I … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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Eight and a half hours

Eight and a half hours later, he left.

A much longer date than expected.

Late in the afternoon, we fortified ourselves with crackers, vegetable sticks, and dips I had prepared for snacks, and slices of chocolate mud cake and strawberries that he brought. When it got late though, way past dinner time, I had no real food to offer him. I lamely offered to cook some eggs. We had more chocolate cake instead. And champagne. Though that was mostly for me.

We had agreed on certain personal services for our date:

  • Forced winking* (not negotiable)
  • Kissing
  • Food/wine service
  • Hand/foot massage
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Loves: 9
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Personal service date

The boy who I have quietly dubbed ‘my prey‘ kept in touch with me after our date. There is ‘something’ pleasing about him that I can’t quite put my finger on, you know: ‘something’. His engagement is light and fun and he makes me laugh. His little hints of submission are sincere and flirtatious. He hasn’t balked yet at my nudging at him a little.

He didn’t push me (prey doesn’t push), but he was obviously keen to meet again. I very much like what he brings to the table, so I invited him on a second date, … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Date with prey

A date with a lovely submissive boy who has been in my inbox on and off for about four years. He’s smart, personable, articulate, and pretty as fuck with a body to die for.

We talked about meeting a few years ago, but when I dug a little deeper, I could see that we weren’t compatible, so we never did. There were a few factors: He’s nearly 20 years younger than me (obviously that’s still true!), he had some very strong (and incompatible) ideas about how D/s relationships ‘should’ be run, and he was still carrying the weight of his … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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Scaling the wall

When I talk with lovely submissive men, the ones who have wonderful qualities, the ones who I should fit with because they are perfect on paper, I want to tell them how to scale my walls.

If you’ve ever been into rock climbing you know exactly what I mean.

“No, up, the hand hold is there on your left, above your head. Yes THERE. And there’s a foot hold on that small ledge there, about knee height. Yes! THERE! Go you!”

I got me to thinking about how my (ex)boy scaled my walls.

And here’s the thing: it was EASY … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Hiatus from dating sites, then not…

A few weeks ago, I hid my profiles on both the vanilla and BDSM dating sites.

I got to a point where I no longer found the careless idiocy in my inbox amusing. I rarely got offensive or rude emails (how sad that that’s even a point to be made as exceptional), but the majority of what I was getting added up to a relentless onslaught of minimum-effort mediocrity from men with poorly written or empty profiles.

“hey”
“how r u”
“i want to be ur slave”
“hello there”

After a while the barrage of it spills over the walls … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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Casual maybe

I’m shit at casual anything. I’m normally either all-in and want to give and get everything, or I’m out. Because ‘meh’. But sometimes, rarely, I am open to other options.

Considering service submission was one example, and being open to something non-LTR-ish with the cougarling is another.

I offered to see the cougarling again in my last email to him even though I didn’t think that developing a long term relationship over distance was going to work for us:

I enjoyed so much about our time together: you’re lovely, and you’re so beautiful, and I feel like there is more

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Loves: 10
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