There are a large number of newbie submissive men who seem to think they are the odd one out if they don’t just submit to everyone.

Usually those observations have this hideously aggravating flavour of special snowflakedness. They display a stereotypical view that has obviously come from a lack of experience or exposure to real life D/sers, and that has much to do with online silliness and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT (you KNOW I want to blame porn, but this isn’t even about the sexytimes part).

Their view is usually stated something like this:

‘Oh, I’m not like all

I hear it a lot when some self-identified dominant behaves like a jerk: “They aren’t dominant, they’re just an arsehole.”

It annoys the crap out of me.

Let me tell you a little secret. Come closer now…

The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

I know!! Shocker, right?!

Some dominants ARE arseholes. Also emotionally stunted, insensitive, selfish, rude, stupid, jerk-faced fuck ups.

You don’t get to to say that those people aren’t dominant as if dominance is a trait that magically erases any negative personal characteristics: It doesn’t.

There are good people in the world.

Some of those good people are dominant.… Continue Reading