about me/  musing/  QnA

Relationships and age differences

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I got this question on my Ask Me page, and it was such a good one that it made me get all rambly, so I figured I would turn it into a blog post.

What’s the biggest age gap you could accept in a relationship?

Ha! I love a succinct and difficult personal question!! Well done, you!

The answer is complicated.

My previous relationships have mostly been with men who were within 5-6 years of my age, and mostly younger. But that doesn’t answer your question.

I just checked my CM profile and my default search criteria is set to … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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about me/  musing/  my boy

On saying “I love you”

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I don’t say “I love you” much. I am stingy with it, miserly. I hoard it to myself as if it might get used and old and dirty if I put it on the table.

I feel deeply and hard, but “I love you” is like taking out a huge knife and carving the words into skin, pain and blood spurting everywhere, cries of elation or hurt, his or mine, both sometimes.

The feeling comes slowly to me, I don’t trust it. I don’t trust it in others and I don’t trust it in myself. And when it comes easily, … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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about me/  advice

D/s flirting

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Vanilla flirting is about expressing attraction and playing with it.

It’s essentially:

“You’re cute…”

“No YOU…”

And etc.

Flirting is fun, it’s bouncing potential off each other, even if there is no real intent. It’s about both parties feeling desirable and appreciated.

To me, D/s flirting has exactly the same aim, it’s just a little different in its execution. D/s flirting is about playing around with the dynamic a little bit. Similar to vanilla flirting, we toss things out to each other and see if the other person catches it and runs with it. It’s about exercising a little D/s … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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about me/  musing

Being sexy

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I am not good at ‘being sexy’ in the traditional sense. Dressing the part, acting the coquette, doing that ‘sex object’ thing, flirting coyly. Yeah, I can’t do it. If I had to deliberately behave in a sexy manner, I’d fail horribly and embarrassingly. I’d be all ridiculous expressions and awkward clumsy movements.

But, I think I’m sexy. Strong, attractive, hungry when aroused. My sexuality is powerful when it’s fired up, and I think *that’s* what makes me sexy. It’s different from traditional feminine images of ‘sexy’.

My version of ‘sexy’ is about feeling my own sexuality heightened.

When I … Continue Reading

Loves: 24
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about me/  audio/  interview/  musing/  randomness

Come and sit in on a chat with me…

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© Masocast by UnspeakableAxe

Do you want to sit in on a chat with me? Pretend we are in a bar, having some champagne, and having a cosy little chat? You can, sort of!

Unspeakable Axe and I talked for nearly three hours when he interviewed me for Masocast. His interview style is lovely, so it’s a low key, casual, friendly chat where we cover a whole range of topics.

He then had to trawl through my ramblings to edit it down to about an hour and twenty minutes (nice work, Axe!).

Over an hour of me talking!!! I KNOW, IT’S TOO MUCH!!!… Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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about me

On ‘becoming a Domme’ Part II

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… continued from On ‘becoming a Domme’ Part I

So I found a lovely vanilla submissive and had it all sorted, right?

Well, kind of.

I fucked that one up, but I learnt what I wanted in a man, and in a relationship, from being with him. And that was no small thing.

I had some other short term relationships after that which ‘worked’, but it was a little hit and miss to find what I knew I wanted. Knowing meant that I could recognise it when I found it, but it didn’t actually make it easier to find.

Then … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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about me/  musing/  vanilla

On ‘becoming a Domme’ Part I

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I was a pretty confident, smart, take-no-bullshit young woman, and I always attracted men who would fall over themselves to do what I wanted (even before I really figured out what I wanted). Given my later proclivities, I should have been happy with that, right?

But I found them insufferably dull because I would push at them, and they would roll over at the slightest hint of my disapproval, would become scared to even express an opinion in case it wasn’t one I liked, they were cowed. They weren’t doing what I wanted because they wanted me to be happy, … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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