60 facts about me

This random list came out of a little game on Twitter (you follow me on the Twitter, right? Of course you do! Then you know all of this already…).

1. I have sex toys that I have literally never used. Virgin sex toys: that’s a thing, right?
2. I usually masturbate every day, even if I don’t really feel like it
3. Re number 2: I have a genuine fear that if I don’t keep my (literal… heh) hand in, my libido will disappear (‘use it or lose it’)
4. I don’t really understand people who have very elaborate masturbation sessions: lots of toys, lots of time, just… who can be bothered?
5. Re 4: I feel like I’m missing out on some magical experience, but every time I think about trying it I also think ‘arrggghh so much work’
6. My internet is so fucking slow that Tumblr is almost unusable. This is not a bad thing: Tumblr is a time suck of pretties
7. Bit scared I will run out of things to tell you if I get too many of these. Y’all can stop now. I’m not that interesting…
8. If I know your full name, I will google the hell out of you if I’m interested and like you. I MUST KNOW ALL THE THINGS
9. Dude I contacted from the dating site is 6’7. Google says 6’9. I guess if you’re that tall a couple inches it doesn’t matter much…
10. Update on that guy: I need to check the dating site for messages. I don’t get notifications from ANY dating sites. The internet hates me
11. Tallest man I’ve dated was 6’5. I made him stop in front of a shop front on our first date so I could look at the height difference. I don’t know why, but he didn’t SEEM tall.
12. Bambi (6’2) and the Cougarling (6’3) DID seem tall: HOT! I think I have a height fetish.
13. Coincidentally: song on rage right now has Iggy Pop yelling at me that he’s 5’1 (he’s not, he’s 5’7, I looked it up).
14. I used to masturbate with a soft-skinned baby doll I had when I was a child. What kind of toy maker makes dolls out of Vixskin?! :P
15. I once asked a foot fetishist to polish my toenails. He was 100% not interested in that & refused. Filed under ‘submissives who aren’t’
16. The 3 silver thumb rings I wear were really cheap. I’ve had them over 20 yrs, surprised they are still in great shape. Love them so much
17. 
18. 99% of the time, breakfast is coffee and fried eggs.
19. I used to play piano. Used to keep my hand in with Solfegietto which sounds impressive, but is easy to play.  I can’t even play that piece any more. Suspect I’d struggle with chopsticks now
20. My eye-hand co-ordination is woeful. Being tall & athletic-looking sets false expectations for every sports-minded person I’ve ever met
21. The first time I felt random lust was Baryshnikov’s slow splits up against a wall (this whole bit, unf)

    GET OUT OF THE FRAME HINES, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR AWKWARD FLAILING!

22. I find renovation and house hunting shows entertaining. I don’t even know why. Maybe I just like to see how other people live.
23. My next book is ‘How to Find a Female Dominant’: I’m paralysed by the boundaries of the topic because it’s HUGE & I want ‘short & sharp’
24. My hair is really mostly silver-grey under the blonde. One day I will do a full Dame Judi Dench*
    *Goddess
    
25. I think motorbikes are sexy. Not least because when a man is sitting on one, it accentuates his V-shape. Plus leathers :)
26. I used to have a scooter. If I ever walked around with my helmet, I felt like I was faking being a cool biker chick
27. I let two boys have a go on my scooter at different times. They both crashed it because ‘ha ha cute girlie toy, imma show off’ *crash*
28. When people send me friend requests on FL without a message, I look at their feed: Is it going to add to my FL experience?
    No?
    ‘Reject’
29. I hate being cold. My hands and feet tend to be really freezing in winter. Which is actually useful for bedtime torture :)
30. I never watch TV series until the entire series is done. I’d rather wait 2 months for the lot than wait a week between episodes.
31. I envy ppl their positive experiences with dating, their ability to easily find ppl to get excited about (even if it doesn’t pan out)
32. I keep a spreadsheet of relationships & meaningful encounters I’ve had. Nerding out my sex life :P
33. My incredibly sweet german shepherd lived a happy life for 13 years. This is her being adorable with my flatmate’s kitten, RingwormHead
    
34. I love fabulous lingerie, but I never wear the little that I have. Very much a ‘black g-string & done’ kind of woman
35. re 34. For example, I tried on and loved and did not buy this, but look how gorgeous!
    
36. I have never sent a picture of my pussy to anyone ever. I can’t imagine I ever would
37. When I read stories about sex clubs, the bodily fluids (usually not cum: squirting, ‘wetness’) on beds/couches/chairs squick me out
38. I think it would be fun to attend a BDSM event in a full gimp mask. I’ve only put one on once, I felt & looked scary and powerful
39. I avoid using people’s names: I’m so forgetful that I’m scared I’ll get them wrong. It’s easier than you’d think
40. I do not own a single pair of shorts.
41. I don’t like texting. Not just because I’m bad at it (in terms of proficiency), but because there is an expectation of immediacy. Nope.
42. I really like to cuddle on the couch and binge watch something good. Maybe some popcorn, champagne, kissing
43. I have 4 laptops in my house. Two don’t work at all, one shuts down whenever it feels like it (Simon!), George is my current love
    Bahahaha! Simon heard me and went ‘nup’. So now I have THREE that don’t work at all. And George :P
44. When I buy junk food (rarely), I buy ALL THE THINGS. Then I will have one bit of it & I’ll be over it. But then it’s in the house sooo..
45. I pee in the shower (come on, like you don’t!)
46. I like the idea of baths better than I like *actual* baths
47. I wear glasses for distance. I don’t *need* them (ie they’re not very strong), but I don’t like to drive at night without them
48. For someone who lives at the beach, I don’t go to the beach very often. But I love to know that it’s RIGHT THERE if I want to :P
49. (yes still going, a couple more snuck in!) I hate & loathe being patronised. You can fuck right off with that condescending bullshit
50. I rarely get really angry. Annoyed, irritated, pissed off, sure. But genuinely angry takes a very special kind of badness
51. I lived in London for about four years back in the day, the longest I have lived outside of Australia
52. I’ve also lived in Amsterdam, Calgary, Galway… I feel like I’m missing at least one other, but I mentioned my appalling memory, right?
53. While I’m on travel: 108+ cities in 38+ countries (more since I did this map):
    Where I have been?
54. I had no date for the school formal. Towered over all the boys in heels: First time I said ‘fuck it’
55. If I ever behave poorly in whatever way/s, I will beat myself up over it forever. Easier just to avoid doing it in the first place.
56. Re 55: Of COURSE I’ve behaved poorly, done things I’m ashamed of. I don’t live easily with them: The discomfort is a good reminder
57. I’m so not a cat person.
    BUT LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE KITTEN THAT CLAMBERED UP ON MY SHOULDER FOR CUDDLES OMG *doesn’t move forever*
    
58. I really never get bored when left to my own devices: I can endlessly entertain myself
59. To me “junk food” = ‘anything I can’t have in the house because I will eat it all’. E.g. macadamias: junk food, cashews: nope
60. I have named my car (Royal Highness), my laptops (Simon, George) & my coffee machines (Carl, Calvin II).
    I mean, come on: who doesn’t?!