I rarely talk about potentials here for a bunch of complicated reasons.
Firstly because they usually know about my blog and talking about my feelings while exploring something new is confusing and destructive. If I write about it honestly, it’s more information than I am ready to share with them. Since these things are always tenuous and volatile, my thoughts are often all over the place, and blurting them out when they are fleeting and changeable can cause all sorts of confusion and hurt.
Secondly because conversations that have the potential to turn into something have pretty much equal potential to fizzle out as quickly as they fire up.
Thirdly, and further to the above, I would seem psychotic if I talked about potentials too early BECAUSE they usually end up going nowhere. I exchange emails with quite a few men (at the moment that includes vanilla and submissive men) and the majority of those die a quiet death with barely a murmur. Not anyone’s fault: normally it’s just that we can’t generate sufficient interest to continue the conversation.
All of that to say that I’m reticent to talk about this since it’s still really early days, but I’m doing it anyway because it’s on my mind.
I’ve dubbed him ‘the cougarling’ because he’s 14 years my junior and I pounced on him with an introductory email.
I found him on Fetlife: an articulate and intelligent profile, some thoughtful writing, a beautiful body, some really cute face pictures. I sent him a flirty little note (I totally cougared all up on him, and YES, I am using that as a verb now… *laugh*).
We’ve been exchanging emails for about 2 weeks now. He’s impressive in email, though the slow pace of it has had me struggling to get a real feel for him. We had our first phone call last night. An hour and half of gentle exploration. It was easy, we laughed quite a bit, he’s cheeky with me, and very literal-rational which means he wants to argue about things with me (he’ll soon learn that I’m always right :P).
I’ve banned him from reading my blog and my book (which he bought soon after I emailed him and he’d already read half of it before I imposed the ban). It’s too much information and I want him to judge me and our potential on our interactions and not have all of the weight of ‘Ferns’ behind it.
As with all of these things, it can’t be simple. He’s in my state, but essentially a day’s drive away (and nowhere near an airport to turn that distance into a simple flight). Still, we both agree that the potential is worth him making that trip, which he’s doing next weekend. If there’s something worth pursuing we have an obvious logistical challenge, but we’re both choosing to deal with that if something eventuates rather than considering it a deal breaker.
Did I mention that the cougarling is 6’3? With a six pack? Hell yes, a visit is worthwhile…
16 comments
Rooting for you both!
Thank you *smile*.
Ferns
Oi there’s only one Coug around here lady!
That aside here’s hoping
Coug
*laugh* Well OBVIOUSLY there is only one Coug!
I can be a cougar and he can be a cougarling, but it’s not the same thing!!
Ferns
I don’t know who this Coug is, but he’s funny as sh%t and you should date him.
SSS
SSS, meet Coug: the lesbian with the perfect arse!!
DON’T THINK YOU’RE GETTING A SHARE OF THE TOASTER OVEN IF WE EVER DATE!
Ferns
Bloody too right I seen her firstest! Now SSS let’s discuss this you calling me he shall we?
Over here
In the dark
all alone
Just you, me and Mr prod
Wow! it seems both of you are walking a truly exciting path getting to know each other.
From a male perspective, it must be an extraordinary experience to be “hunt” like that…
*laugh* Oh, and it’s a lot less extraordinary than you might think. Quite a lot like a conversation actually…
Though it would be extraordinary if it actually led to something!
Ferns
A conversation? one of those things that happen in a lift when weather has been rainy? :)
Hmmm… I remember I had read something about a “flirty little note”, so maybe it is not one of those. Who knows… maybe a conversation where every word hides some intense feelings and some carefully chosen intentions? How extraordinary can a conversation be? :)
*laugh* Rest assured that my introductory notes are at least one step up from a comment on the weather.
Ferns
Looking forward to the update about his trip! From your comment it seems your meeting was quite promising…
Unless you are living in the future, you are confused: All going well, he will be here this coming weekend.
If you ARE living in the future, email me the lotto numbers will you?
Ferns
Upps! Sorry, I was confused.
As much as I like trying to guess out things, I am afraid my abilities would be completely useless with lotto numbers…
Hope to be helpful next time :)
It’s always such a dilemma on when to let potentials read my blog. I still don’t seem to have a handle on it. And my experience is it either scares them away or they want to jump into everything missing the whole point that what I write is about relationships! Geeezzzz.
I’m excited about your weekend and hope it worked out well..sounds like it did. Exciting! Goose bumps for you. Enjoy him!
~ Vista
It IS a dilemma. And while I don’t have the specific problems that you mention, what I DO find is that the knowledge from it interferes with our connection.
I’ve written about it a few times, but this post explains the issue I’ve been scuppered by the most.
Tricky business :/.
Ferns