He is washing her, kneeling before her, warm water cascading over their bodies, his hands gliding over her soapy skin. She reaches down for a kiss, he opens his mouth to her and she tastes him in the wetness, it makes her sigh with pleasure.
He whispers something to her that she doesn’t quite hear… He is embarrassed, shy, unable to look at her. She makes him repeat it.
“Can I… put my tongue inside you, Ma’am?”, whisper-soft and hesitant.
It is an odd request and so specifically worded… she looks askance at him, puzzled. He blushes, mortified at himself, but doesn’t elaborate.
She shakes her head, “You can do exactly what I say you can do… no more…”
He shakes his head also, disappointment and rejection written all over his face.
She touches his cheek and turns so that he can wash her back.
21 comments
“She touches his cheek …” This small gesture should have told him, that he is not being rejected, only that he is not in charge.
That teased me on about five different levels at once. Very erotic. And very clever.
XXXXXXX
slapshot: “She touches his cheek …” This small gesture should have told him, that he is not being rejected, only that he is not in charge.”
*smile* Yes, though sometimes when you are in those small moments, it can be difficult to tell the difference, and the pang is real enough.
Ferns
Anonymous XXXXXXX: “That teased me on about five different levels at once. Very erotic. And very clever.”
I'm glad you enjoyed it… who knew I had so many levels in me?!
Ferns
I had such a visceral reaction. To want to please so much in a sexual context and to have to remain on a service level would be so hard for me.
It should be hard Robert!
Men topping from the bottom. So sad.
robert: “I had such a visceral reaction. To want to please so much in a sexual context and to have to remain on a service level would be so hard for me.”
Denial is so cruel! *laugh*
In all honestly, I know these things actually do hurt, that it *is* a form of rejection, that for many boys it is difficult to ask for things, and to be denied when they have put their desire in front of you can be quite a blow. I love that he will still ask, though.
Ferns
Charlene: “Men topping from the bottom. So sad.”
I don't believe in 'topping from the bottom' – it's a convenient phrase and widely used, but I find it completely meaningless. I might write a post about it to explain my thoughts on it rather than expand on it here.
In general, though, I *want* my boy to tell me what he wants, what he is thinking, how he feels, and I *want* him to ask for what he wants. What I do with that information then is completely up to me.
Ferns
“In all honestly, I know these things actually do hurt, that it *is* a form of rejection, that for many boys it is difficult to ask for things, and to be denied when they have put their desire in front of you can be quite a blow. I love that he will still ask, though.”
This is the sort of honest and insightful statement I've come to enjoy on your blog, Ma'am.
So very true. I almost never ask, and I always have to fight a wounded feeling if I'm denied. Not just sexual favors, but many things.
Respectfully, Étienne
“This small gesture should have told him, that he is not being rejected, only that he is not in charge.”
If he's asking permission to do something, how is that him thinking he's in charge?
Étienne: “This is the sort of honest and insightful statement I've come to enjoy on your blog, Ma'am.”
*smile* thank you.
“I almost never ask, and I always have to fight a wounded feeling if I'm denied. Not just sexual favors, but many things.”
*nod* I can understand that. In my experience there are two conflicting issues that make asking for things difficult. The first is the fear that she might be pandering to you, as if she is 'doing it for you' if she accepts. The second is what you described, exactly, the wounding, if she declines.
Ferns
I don't believe in 'topping from the bottom'… In general, though, I *want* my boy to tell me what he wants, what he is thinking, how he feels and I *want* him to ask for what he wants. What I do with that information then is completely up to me. Ferns
I think there is a very important difference between “asking for what you want” and “topping from the bottom.” I would agree that the request pictured in this post is not an example of the latter, but I do think it exists. Whereas “asking for what you want” is a healthy impulse that should be encouraged–it is simply an honest expression of desire–topping from the bottom is generally manipulative and destructive.
I also have a suspicion that it's simply not possible to top from the bottom when you are at the behest of an experienced top, because they are aware of exactly what you said: “What I do with that information then is completely up to me.“
Topping from the bottom never comes in the form of a straightforward question like “May I…”; it is almost always a complex or subtle sideways “suggestion.” But, if the top is skilled, sharper or more confident than the bottom, such tactics will generally be met with, “That's great, now shut up and do as I say,” instead of, “Huh, I guess you're right…”
So, Ferns, perhaps you don't believe in topping from the bottom because you are immune to it. ;-P
submissive dude: “I also have a suspicion that it's simply not possible to top from the bottom when you are at the behest of an experienced top…”
I'd argue that it's not possible regardless (which is why I posit that there is no such thing)… but I do certainly see where you are coming from. I will keep that in mind when I write my 'TFTB is bollocks!' post, but you haven't changed my view just yet…
“So, Ferns, perhaps you don't believe in topping from the bottom because you are immune to it.”
How *dare* you make a perfectly valid point?! You must stop it, immediately! You are just trying to top from the bottom… heh…
Ferns
C.S. Blogger: “I have totally been there. It's equal part frustrating and delighting to be turned down, to be denied what I asked for.”
Yes!! It's a delightful paradox isn't it?
“I think the discussions that spin off from your posts are a huge draw!”
For me too! They are the only reason I even read this blog…
Ferns
“In general, though, I *want* my boy to tell me what he wants, what he is thinking, how he feels, and I *want* him to ask for what he wants. What I do with that information then is completely up to me. “
Spot on Ferns. And I love reading your blog, it's incredibly insightful for a beginner like myself. Thank you!
Angel
Angel: “Spot on Ferns. And I love reading your blog, it's incredibly insightful for a beginner like myself. Thank you!”
*smile* You are so welcome! I'm glad it's helpful… don't forget, though… you must wear leather and six inch heels at all times (even in the shower), you must never cry or show vulnerability, and all submissives are worms and unworthy to lick the soles of your boots… I'd hate for those important messages to get lost…
Ferns
Thanks for that extra sage advice. I've been skirting the wearing heels in the shower, but I'll work on that. We don't want the subs getting any ideas you know. ;) No crying….yeah, let me get rid of my hormones real fast. Done. Thanks!
Angel
Lovely.
I love your economy of words.
@jewel: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Ferns