cub/  musing

I forgive you

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Public domain mark'Untitled' by BenteBoe

I call it forgiveness, but it’s not. Not really.

Intellectually, I can say ‘I forgive you’ and I can even think that it’s true and that I mean it. You are sorry, I see that, I’m a generous person, I want to move past it, I forgive you.

But the emotional truth is that I don’t forgive you. I don’t think I’m capable of it, or at least I don’t think so anymore.

If it’s big and hurtful and egregious, if you behaved poorly, if you lied, betrayed my trust, did something terrible, I will never truly forgive you.… Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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femdom dating

Harsh? Who me?

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Creative Commons BY-ND 2.0 mark'Lightning over Cape Town' by Warren Tyrer

I don’t think of myself as harsh or rude or any of those things.

Honest, yes (but not the ‘I’m just being honest’ type of brutality that people use to justify being an arsehole).

Forthright, you bet.

Sometimes impatient, sure.

Easily irritated (with strangers at least), yep.

But harsh? I tend(ed) to think not.

I had an exchange on a BDSM dating site the other day that both made me laugh and made me wonder if I AM harsh. I responded in an exasperated way to someone who replied to me with a terrible cliche. In my mind, I was … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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musing

“He never looks at her the way he looked at me”

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Public domain mark'Untitled' by aliceabc0

I have thought that of the men I have loved.

Along with “He never talks about her the way he talked about me” and “He never treats her the way he treated me”.

All thoughts bound up in love and nostalgia and memories.

But mostly, in those moments of brutal honesty, I know it’s pure ego with more than a touch of smug satisfaction. I touched those intimate parts of him, they are marked, and they are forever mine. Truly mine. And no-one else can have them.

And it may be true, or it may not be true. It doesn’t … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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sent emails

My sent emails XLIX

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Public domain markAdapted from 'Untitled' by Hypnoart

Inbox:

hello mistress..

—

Hello 25Msub-in-another-country,

Stolen picture, nowhere near me, two word email.

No thank you.

Ferns

—

For your amusement, this was the picture he had on his profile (cropped to exclude the cover details and the head of course, for anonymity :P). It is Russian model Matt Voskrebentsev, photographed by Sasha Kosmos. SEEMS TOTALLY LEGIT!… Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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musing

Light my fire

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Creative Commons BY-SA 2.0 mark'Come baby, light my fire' by Fedrizzi Junior

My body is on hiatus. Maybe it’s been the stress of an uncertain living situation for so long and then the actual move. Or maybe it’s recent disappointments worming their way into my psyche. I don’t know.

If I had a penis, pretty sure I’d be going through some kind of erectile dysfunction issue right now.

I try to masturbate every day. Usually in the morning before I get up.

It’s not some grand and sexy goal, I’m just very aware that my body is prone to going into hibernation when I don’t have an erotic target who’s firing up … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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musing

Femdom in advertising

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We’ve seen a lot of it, mostly in fashion and music.

We tend to think it’s a relatively recent phenomenon in marketing (though Unspeakable Axe has been posting ‘Found Femdom‘ in mainstream media for years).

This ad campaign is from 2004. Umbro Vigo is a sports brand, and this ‘Sado’ series to advertise footwear is by a Brazilian agency. Stereotypical: yes. Exploitative: sure.

But say what you want, these are stunning. Not least in their unapologetic presentation of submissives as the beautiful men they are, and you know I always appreciate that.

… Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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randomness

Settling in

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'Housewarming gift' by Ferns

The move went smoothly, my new place was clear of mess and liveable by the end of the first day (a promise I made to myself because clutter stresses me out and I did NOT want to wake up to stacks of boxes everywhere the following morning).

Though by ‘liveable’ I don’t mean that everything was all done and dusted. I’m not magic!

I mean that I had Carl (my coffee machine) ready to go for the morning (along with coffee, mug, milk, sugar: priority 1!), the kitchen was unpacked, the fridge had food in it, the living and dining … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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