He is a work colleague: smart, driven, funny, engaging, good at his job. I like him and enjoy working with him. We talked all the time on the phone, but had never met because, well, he’s in North America and I am not.

We were on a call, I was carefully trying to explain something to him, he was distracted, obviously doing something else over there across the ocean. I got exasperated and snapped at him.

“Stop that and pay attention! You *know* boys can’t multi-task!”

He was shocked, he sincerely and sheepishly apologised, agreed with me that no, boys … Continue Reading

Once upon a time, I went out with vanilla boys, before I found any BDSM community, and after also. I was thinking recently about vanilla and submissive dates… they are quite different in my experience. Submissive men tend to wait, they are a little afraid of taking initiative in case they get it wrong, so they wait to be led, which is fine with me, but there are many many ways to show interest that can hardly turn out badly. All they need to do is ask themselves the question ‘will this make her happy?’ Vanilla men take that initiative, … Continue Reading