I wrote this post earlier about how some people call lovely, attentive, considerate behaviour from a man ‘submissive’ instead of thinking of it simply as the behaviour of a fabulous man in love.

I coined the term ‘vanilla submissive’ to refer to vanilla men I have been with whose behaviour is pretty much exactly what I expect from my submissive. Only, they weren’t my submissive.

The comments on my previous post were lively and quite wonderful, and raised the very valid question of “well, what is the difference between ‘vanilla submissive’ and ‘D/s submissive'” and I thought my view on … Continue Reading

I often hear people describe behaviours that they consider to be indicative of a great submissive, but when I think about it for a moment, they often aren’t.  What they are describing is often the behaviour of a wonderful, quality man. Perhaps a man in love, or in lust, or infatuated, or one who is trying to impress a date or one who is simply one of those lovely creatures who likes doing things for a woman he enjoys and respects.

How is it that ‘doing things for someone to make them happy’ is suddenly submission and not the pretty … Continue Reading

In the last 24 hours, on two separate occasions, I have told two vanilla men that I write ‘a sex blog’ and given them the name of it *.

That’s two vanilla men who I met while going about my business.

That’s two vanilla men who have my real name and phone number.

That’s two vanilla men who can now peek in here (hello R, L… yes, yes, this post is totally about you!).

That’s two more vanilla men than I have ever told EVER EVER EVER (unless my vanilla ex counts… he doesn’t does he? No no, he totally … Continue Reading