cutie pie/  femdom dating/  meeting

The heart of the question

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Creative Commons BY 4.0 mark'The eternal question'

For some reason I’ve had a flurry of emails in my inbox from local submissive men over on Fetlife recently.

I have NO idea why. I’ve done nothing unusual to suddenly be on anyone’s radar. I’ve been there forever, have no sexy pictures, don’t put up ads etc, so my inbox doesn’t attract any significant attention. I normally get either spam or chats relating to my posts. So it’s like someone suddenly put a spotlight on me. Strange.

Most were an eye-rolling level of silliness from grown-arse self-identified submissive men: One sentence from an empty profile with no activity. You … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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femdom dating

Femdom dating: Ebbs and flows

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There is a very predictable ebb and flow to my dating endeavors.

I will do a flurry of activity, reaching out, meeting people, engaging positively.

And then I am done.

Like… really done.

I’m exhausted by the effort involved in trawling web sites, in engaging with potential partners, in the social exchange, in meeting up, in all the mental and emotional work involved in it.

I will give it a solid go for a hot minute, then I need to hide in my cave for a while, regroup, cycle up some energy for the next round.

I’m in the trough … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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femdom dating/  the other men/  vanilla

That time I dumped George Clooney

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Creative Commons BY 2.0 mark'George Clooney - TIFF 09'' by Courtney

That first vanilla date had promise, but of course when I write I do not tell you everything.

I don’t write narratives, a list of facts, a blow-by-blow. I write, as best I can, an emotional truth. To tell you how things feel to me, what’s in my head. A truth, but not the whole truth in context and with detail because for those moments, it’s not relevant.

So let me fill in some gaps: There were practical issues with George Clooney. I mean, apart from the ‘he’s vanilla’ one. He has children under 10, a complicated relationship with … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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femdom dating/  photo/  the other men/  vanilla

George Clooney said I looked like Geena Davis, then we kissed

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The next episode of ‘Femdom does vanilla dating’…

When I popped back onto the vanilla dating site, I clicked a few things and lo and behold if I didn’t see pictures of two beautiful local men. One was a reminiscent of Anderson Cooper, and the other had a whole ‘George Clooney-esque’ vibe going on. They each had smart, thoughtful profiles.

Well, hellloooo…

I messaged them both.

Anderson Cooper was a cold call, and we were really not that compatible (our match percentage was high, but he’d answered very few questions, and had ‘Catholicism’ listed as important to him, so that … Continue Reading

Loves: 30
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femdom dating/  My Gentleman/  vanilla

Dating Ferns: An insider’s perspective

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Public domain mark'Untitled' by Hendrik Hausen

This is an unusual post for this blog, a one-off: My Gentleman’s view of our dating experience.

I think the only other time I’ve had someone guest-write on my blog was my ex-sub who participated in an extensive reader Q&A way back when we were loved up (holy shit, that boy had a way with words. Unf <3).

This though, ‘an anatomy of dating Ferns’ from a vanilla man who doesn’t really know me, is a new and odd thing.

What strikes me most is that MG and I were pretty much aligned in interpreting what was going on, albeit … Continue Reading

Loves: 30
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femdom dating/  musing/  My Gentleman

Boys, toys, & champagne

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© 'Champagne & toys' by and of Ferns

So a few things, random updates of sorts.

My Gentleman found my blog after our last date (hello there, MG :)). He could have found it earlier, he said, but he was waiting for me to tell him. Of course, we all know what happened before we got to that. He wasn’t upset about any of the content, and he was flattered to be written about, which is a relief to be honest. It means I navigated the line just about right.

He sent me a ‘war and peace’ length email after reading about himself to share his thoughts on … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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femdom dating/  musing

Femdom vs vanilla dating: Different approaches and why

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Public domain mark'Untitled' by Pxhere

Femdom dating vs vanilla dating is like chalk and cheese for me.

I mentioned in a previous post that on the vanilla dating site, I take a very different approach to ‘when to meet’ than I do on BDSM sites.

There are a number of reasons for that that range from the obvious and simple to something more complex.

The first and biggest thing that influences my decision on ‘when to meet’ is that I’m an introvert and I get no pleasure or fun out of meeting people just because. So anyone who says ‘yeah, but it’s just a coffee … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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