If you’re on the internet, you’ve been lied to. Maybe in small ways that don’t matter, maybe in egregious ways that did a number on you.

For me, as a dominant woman with a certain level of visibility who’s looking for a partner, I get lied to by self-identified submissive men over and over.

Mostly they are so bad at it that it’s a non-event, an eyeroll, something funny.

But some of them seem plausible, until they’re proven not to be. It gets tiring and depressing. This is how women on the internet get jaded and cynical, despite their best … Continue Reading

In F/m, using sex as a reward seems to be a thing. Where the sub’s good behaviour earns sex.

If folks enjoy it, great. But to me it’s the grossest thing.

On all levels.

In my mind, it leads to scenarios like this:

• Ugh I don’t feel like having sex but he’s ‘earned’ it so I suppose I have to now
• I feel like having sex but he was ‘naughty’ yesterday, so I guess I don’t get any
• Gee I hope he’s ‘good’ so I can get some sex
• I hope he’s disobedient, I don’t feel like having sex today