Online domination: What does it mean?

February 21, 2019 13 Comments

I see online domination mentioned, and I can imagine what it means, but I’m wondering what exactly does it mean to you, if you have an online dynamic. —Question on Fetlife

Assuming we’re talking about online-only interactions, I think for the majority of people (both dominant women and submissive men) it means online play of some sort, mostly ‘her telling him to do things that get him off’. Whether that involves jerk off instructions, sex chat, humiliation, butt stuff, self-spanking, whatever: The underlying objective is the same. At its best, both of them find it hot and fun. At its … Continue Reading

Loves: 10

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musing

What are you interested in?

February 20, 2019 2 Comments

What interests you with your submissive?

I get this question quite a lot. It’s a reasonable one.

The first thing is that I don’t care about ‘what he will do for me’. Can he cook, can he wield a power drill, can he build things, can he give me a pedicure? Don’t care. It’s stupid. Those are useful skills of course, but in the scheme of things they aren’t partner-makers. And any smart person can learn skills.

I also don’t care about ‘what will I do to him’ stuff. The acts, the fetishes, the play. Absolutely we have to be … Continue Reading

Loves: 17

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photo

Because I have a cute bra…

February 19, 2019 10 Comments

That is all.

—

* Found this in my drafts, there is a LOT of stuff in there…… Continue Reading

Loves: 11

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randomness/ shit Ferns says

Shit Ferns says #14

February 18, 2019 4 Comments

Random things I’ve said recently, no context.

Is that a ‘yes, I have no intention of meeting you’ salmon? If so you might have to specify: salmon species are not my forte

I think ‘vanilla’ = did not buy dedicated equipment for that :P

And here we have a vintage little number all about self-created snowballs.

“I wanked over a picture of you, THAT’S how sexy I think you are” is not the compliment those into it seem to think it is

“At last a REAL femdom!” rang the enthusiastic chorus, staring fervently at their screens, their collective right hands

Loves: 4

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musing/ photo

Corsetry: Red or blue?

February 17, 2019 22 Comments

I’m going to a BDSM event next week.

To be clear, I never go to BDSM events.

I think the last time I went to a BDSM club was Paddles in New York, and that was a gazillion years ago.

But I had a very uncharacteristic bout of social energy last month, so here we are.

I had to dig around to find my corsets since that’s about it for fetish gear I own (oh, and heels, though I’d argue that none of them are pure fetish-wear). I have two amazingly gorgeous steel-boned corsets from Timeless Trends and a … Continue Reading

Loves: 17

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about me/ musing

I believe you the first time

February 16, 2019 15 Comments

'Maya Angelou in Baltimore' by John Mathew Smith

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
— Maya Angelou

This is a timeless quote. I wholeheartedly believe in it.

I sometimes have interactions with potential partners, submissive men, natch, who do something egregious early on in our correspondence.

And that’s it, I’m out.

I know it sounds harsh, and it is.

If someone lies to me, is disrespectful, is mean, ignores my boundaries, expresses some offensive view, is shitty in some way, I believe it is exactly what it is. There’s no ‘there’ there, no secret to uncover. It is what it is.

Ditto … Continue Reading

Loves: 17

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links

e[lust] #115

February 16, 2019 No Comments

Welcome to Elust 115–

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #116? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Your Loss

Ask for It

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Two Explorers

Sweet Child of Mine

~Readers Choice

Click to show some love

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Ferns on On Gods and Found Femdom: “That is a VERY good question and if I was on top of these things I would have noted it…” Mar 21, 12:29

Scarlette on On Gods and Found Femdom: “Hey! Just wondering which episode this is from?” Mar 21, 12:21

Ferns on Happy femdom story: D&S Part 2, S’ side: “Right? :) Ditto the squabbling over the TV remote tbh :). Ferns” Feb 15, 17:04

Sojournick on Happy femdom story: D&S Part 2, S’ side: “I love this whole story, because there is SOOO much that is relatable, but I had to chuckle at the…” Feb 15, 03:14

Ferns on Food for the soul: “You’re so welcome :). I’ve never seen cockatoos so close up before: They are huge! All is well over here,…” Jan 18, 13:42