The first in my ‘How To’ Femdom Series is “How to Write An Awesome Online Profile: For Submissive Men“, now available on Amazon.
It’s short, sharp, and practical and includes a before/after example. If you’re a submissive man stuck on writing your profile, or you just want to revamp what you have, this is a useful place to start.
As fabulously loyal readers, I’m giving you a second chance to get one for free if you missed out the first time. Did I say FREE?! Yes, yes I did!
Just click here to sign up to my mailing list before 23rd Feb (no spam, I promise, and in fact you will probably hear from me so infrequently you will completely forget that you signed up… :P) and you’ll get a free copy in your inbox.
Or, you know, you could just go buy it *smile*.
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Freebie offer now closed: if you join my mailing list, there may be other freebies but I’m not promising anything!
16 comments
Sign me up!! Love your writings and submissive guy comics!!!
Yay, thank you so much! And isn’t Submissive Guy Comics the best?!! I’m so lucky that he is letting me use his art for this project!
Ferns
I signed up too! And well, a paperback of Domme Chronicles is on its way. I read the preview pages and some of those scenes speak to me more then the limited selection of femdom porn.
I appreciate you and a few others being out there in the cyber world. I relate to female subs on some levels but only to a point. My Reddit posts tend to attract other msubs thanking me for providing them with something they relate too. I’m flattered that I can be the change I want to see but even I need some help picking Domme’s brains sometimes so I must thank you!
Thank you for signing up and for buying my other book (the paperback, no less: I have to admit that while I love my kindle, there is nothing like an actual book that has heft and weight and that I can luxuriate over). I really hope you enjoy it.
I’m glad you are getting thanks for being out there fighting the good fight: it can get exhausting and it’s always lovely when people appreciate it.
Ferns
I feel much the same. The book market in Canada is basically locked by one company through 3 different store names: Indigo/Chapters/Coles. Even they’ve started getting into more housewares/Funko Pops/Colouring Books to stay afloat. Yours should be here by tomorrow.
I’ve made posts about most of my major kink events so far first two munches, two parties, a club night most recently. I also have a few more personal ones. Since I’ve seen yours I’ll give you a few of mine (Walker Freak refers to 6.5 years as a teenager I was forced to use the mobility aid at school, being in this world has really helped me with those old ghosts:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/58uyti/halloween_2016_the_exwalker_freaks_first_play/?st=izehsy2o&sh=8031e5d6
https://www.reddit.com/r/SubSanctuary/comments/5asc76/male_subs_were_real_and_not_worthless/?st=izehszqq&sh=41cb7a07
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemdomCommunity/comments/5lgs9o/a_year_in_review_a_new_males_subs_reflections_and/?st=izehspur&sh=ff810b64
https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/5prmzv/submission_is_not_a_replacement_for_selfesteem/?st=izehsr3y&sh=7a1ffe04
I hope you enjoy them, I have no formal writing training but I did want to be an author as a kid and have read a lot of novels about BDSM since I started exploring. Who knows, I seem to speak to an under-served demographic in both msubs and people with disabilities so maybe one day!
Thank you for the links.
If you want a gentle start without a huge commitment, you could always start a blog *smile*. As far as I’m concerned aren’t nearly enough real-life blogs by relationship-orientated submissive men around.
Ferns
Hi Ferns
I tried to sign up but your email bot is stopping me??? :(
Could I trouble you to sign me up manually please?
Many thanks
Jon
Thank you so much for letting me know. If you think it’s a problem at my end (and it might be and people just haven’t told me), I’d appreciate an email with more detail on exactly what happened so I can see if I can fix it.
And yes of course, I’d be delighted to add you!
Ferns
Why thank you. I’m still new, single and figuring things out. I am not looking to be broken down by a snarling Domme and some of the more common aspects of femdom media have me neutral at best (chastity) or a hard limit I don’t ever see changing (cuck) at worst. When I first realized what I was, almost nothing from the mainstream m-sub portrayals spoke to me. I’m sure others like me feel the same so perhaps I could fill the gap. Also you and a few other Domme types who’ve read me also seem to appreciate. Its flattering and gives me hope for finding a potential partner. My local scene skews older and most of the women close to my age are subs. I have a big city scene somewhat close, just gotta work my way up to it though.
I have a small circle of online kinky friends that know me by this name. Real life people know my actual name and the different Fet one. A potential roadblock I may see is what about when I find my Domme, would she be alright with me writing about us like this? Right now its just me and I express myself the strongest and most freely through writing though I’m not sure how to bring up the boundaries in things like this. Would-be authors reporting on their mate’s sex life online isn’t a topic most dating shows or ads cover. Heh. Or worse, what if we broke up?
Since you’ve written about some of your scenes how’ve you handled this?
“A potential roadblock I may see is what about when I find my Domme, would she be alright with me writing about us like this?”
Some are, some aren’t.
Or let me put it another way: I think MOST people are absolutely a-ok to be spoken about in adoring and positive ways by their partner. The hard bit is when there’s hard and hurtful and angry and frustrating stuff going on.
“Since you’ve written about some of your scenes how’ve you handled this?”
I don’t think that writing about play is at all a challenge. I pick out moments that resonate with me and I write about them: it’s hot and intense and positive. I’ve never been with a man yet who went ‘nooo, don’t be sharing how amazing that was!’
It’s the other things that are challenging: relationship doubts, fears, anger, frustration, hurt, vulnerabilities, etc. Even if they are momentary (or perhaps especially if), putting them on the page gives them weight that they may not deserve and they can stab someone in the heart when all they were to you was a tiny pin prick that was forgotten an hour later.
I have two rules when it comes to writing about people I’m seeing: no hurt and no surprises. I’m very careful not to use my blog as some passive aggressive communication tool because that’s horribly unfair. So when I write about anything here, the person involved already knows about it, and what they read is not going to hurt them, nor are they going to be surprised by it.
It’s limiting. Very limiting. Because many private thoughts are clamouring to get out. But they can’t.
When I started the blog, my boy was mine, we were solid, and I just wrote whatever I wanted. It was easy. When we ended (not badly, but with a lot of hurt), I didn’t spill all of my pain and grief about him here. It would have been terribly unfair when we were carefully navigating something very difficult. So the end result is a blog silence, or cryptic references etc. Long long after it was all over, I spilled the pain.
In exploring new relationships now, I can’t and won’t talk about topics that are tentative and fragile because they aren’t things I am going to bring up with a potential. So I’m never going to say ‘man, that date sucked, he was fucking dull’ EVER. Nor am I going to say ‘OMG he might be the one, he’s so amazing’ because that’s unfair in a whole different way.
So yeah, when you aren’t really anonymous it’s difficult, but you make choices to be as ethical and fair as you can be and you go with it.
And IF I found an amazing submissive man who said ‘please don’t write about me’, you good folks would never know about it *laugh*.
Ferns
I appreciate this. I agree with the no surprises rule and as for hurt, I suppose I could send everything to her beforehand just to be sure; let her see all but the passwords stay mine so I know I have complete control and to prevent possible worse-case break up backlash.
Other then you I know one other person as a cyber friend that’s been published though hers is a more personal story filled with the highs and lows of going from vanilla to D/s in her marriage. I suppose she’d have her own take on it as well.
Have the book now and am really enjoying it! Flipping around a bit, The Chair, Sleep Kisses and Domme-space are the standouts so far!
Yep, previews would work: I have let some folks preview things I wrote about them just in case. I haven’t had any problems with anyone because of what I’ve written yet. Sometimes it has even triggered useful conversations.
I’m so glad that you’re enjoying my book *smile*! Yay!!
Sharyn
That sounds useful. Really is a shame/frustrating so much F/m porn and even some kink areas focus on ‘breaking’ the guy or how the only way to sub/serve is to deny/degrade yourself somehow.
I’ve gotta also factor in possible disability perceptions. If I get bruises one wrong person catches a glimpse and I could have a serious misunderstanding on my hands; poor little disabled folk probably don’t even want/can perform for sex so theirs no way poor Remus can like freaky kinks right?
Or the opposite end: She’s kind to dedicate herself to that disabled guy; they’re so “inspiring.’ Unless…could she be using him for money? Ugh!
Which is it? Am I too weak for sex or am I some ‘guiding light’ that you could never imagine loving, or a target for a gold-digger?
Sometimes I think it’d be easier to find nice F/m fiction rather then a portrayal of someone like me in a positive relationship.
Well I couldn’t find F/m blogs or depictions of female domination that I could relate to when I started this blog, so I started my own.
So… *waits patiently, taps foot*
Ferns
Oh I’m totally interested! Not really sure how to start, WordPress or what, what my first post should be etc. I’ve also had a week filled with volunteering, a driving lesson, (I started late because of the effort needed to get hand controls, still early 20s isn’t that late), and a job interview so I’m on a bit of a break.
I appreciate the book. Its actually encouraged me to look at Fet topics a bit more. I’m not a Dick Pic guy to begin with but I don’t particularly like and pics of myself either so text discussions might be a way to go. I’m not actively trying to online date but refining some of your suggestions may help.
i…take a long time to trust and despite our long talk here I’m actually pretty quiet IRL. Many reasons though you can get a glimpse of some here. i tend to not think of myself as that interesting really. Past events have put me in a shell for half my life so even ‘how’ to get out of it is confusing and scary though I am making progress. Most women I’ve met have been kind to me so far including you-both cyber and in-person. That leap between acquaintance and Trusted Friend Or More is something I struggle with a lot. You are on the other end of the planet so I can be open with you since you cannot hurt me. Trusting someone who knows me in-person? Very scary
A glimpse of my life story (not long, promise!): https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/5fdyw8/to_my_12_year_old_self/?st=izk9avip&sh=9a97d794
Oh, just wondering you have the next one written correct? When do you think you’ll release it?