It’s like quick sand…..These ones that invade our very core…The more we try to pull away… The deeper we’re swallowed by their presence….. Even the blood that runs through our veins becomes addicted.
Ahw Ferns… No one should be breaking your heart, they should instead be serving you champagne, naked, willing to please you in every way you want/need…
Unfortunately, it is a part of life and relationships. *hugs*
He’s not breaking my heart just yet: I just had a little shock of feels that made me realise that he *could*. And ‘could’ almost certainly means ‘will’ at some stage, regardless of best intentions (that sounds so pessimistic, even though I see it as as simple truth).
I’ve skulked your blogs long enough to finally comment on this one. Perhaps because it’s that I’m probably older than you, and have been in your shoes a few times. (Or at least think I have been.) But consider letting this cub go right now. The good men out there, the ones worthy of you…they DON’T lie…not like that. Everyone makes mistakes, yes. But the good ones make tiny mistakes. The good men tread very carefully; like your heart is made from an eggshell. (Because it is. Aren’t all of ours?)
So let this one go at the needle pricks, instead of waiting to stab your heart (to borrow from a different post of yours.) He might love you. Hell, it sounds like you might love him. It’s still not worth it, and it sounds like you already know that. There’s a better love out there for you. One that you don’t have to doubt, one that won’t break your trust. Hugs to you, sweetie. Good luck with whatever you do with him. Sigh. Personally, I’d throw him back to the lions and let them sort him out. ;) That connection you feel with him you will find with someone else, I promise. Someone more worthy of you. And when you realize it’s finally with someone that you can TRUST completely…well that’s the goal, isn’t it? Not this guy. Screw the cub. Go find a fully maned lion!
I have to agree you. It comes to a point where someone gives you a false sense of control. So often we get wrapped up in the fantasy of “what can be” and we fool ourselves into believing that we can control our desired object to fit into that fantasy forgetting that, just like us, they have their own emotions and fantasies that we very sadly, cannot control try as hard as we might to fool ourselves into believing we can. That is the downside of this life we choose to live; unfortunately we can let fantasy dominate, which removes us and the ones we desire from taking real responsibility for emotions.
But I’ve learned (thankfully only through 1 major disappointment) that when I am in my full power, my partner follows the same lead. We know our roles without bathing in illusion and fantasy. There is no pushing & pulling, no “you better do this or else!”, no having to coax someone to be mine because they fear vulnerability or fragility. There is complete respect of oneself and the other person involved. If you want to be with me, you will do what it takes, I shouldn’t have to break myself or you into a million pieces in order for that to happen. That is what’s lacking, true respect. If someone feels any sort of respect for you, they will never allow your heart and mind to be in turmoil & we shouldn’t feel as if we have to break someone for them to be with us.
Sorry to hear that the ongoing journey of seeking that special connection is again teasing you with both wonder and pain, like the best and hottest curry ever that creeps into a deep crack in your lip. And then, somehow, into your eye and under your contact lens (wtf?).
However this ends up working out I would just like to say, honestly, that you face the continuing turbulence of relationships with far more courage and far more openness than anyone I’ve ever followed (and certainly more than I), and that you could probably totally kick a fully grown male Lion’s ass.
And frankly, he would be grateful for the Christmas pressy.
12 comments
*hugs*
Thanks. I don’t need them yet, but I’ll still take them *smile*.
Ferns
It’s like quick sand…..These ones that invade our very core…The more we try to pull away… The deeper we’re swallowed by their presence….. Even the blood that runs through our veins becomes addicted.
Love to you…
~ Vista
Thank you: I hope your (similar-ish?) situation is working out for you both.
Ferns
Ahw Ferns… No one should be breaking your heart, they should instead be serving you champagne, naked, willing to please you in every way you want/need…
Unfortunately, it is a part of life and relationships. *hugs*
He’s not breaking my heart just yet: I just had a little shock of feels that made me realise that he *could*. And ‘could’ almost certainly means ‘will’ at some stage, regardless of best intentions (that sounds so pessimistic, even though I see it as as simple truth).
Thank you for the hugs *hugs back*.
Ferns
Adorable cub you have there if I don’t say so myself.
Oops, forgot a ‘Maybe’, but, maaaybe he is even more adorable and cute than even that cub?
There we go.
SO adorable *smile*.
But come on, MORE adorable and cute than that? It’s impossible, surely?! I’ll concede with ‘maaaybe on par’.
Ferns
I’ve skulked your blogs long enough to finally comment on this one. Perhaps because it’s that I’m probably older than you, and have been in your shoes a few times. (Or at least think I have been.) But consider letting this cub go right now. The good men out there, the ones worthy of you…they DON’T lie…not like that. Everyone makes mistakes, yes. But the good ones make tiny mistakes. The good men tread very carefully; like your heart is made from an eggshell. (Because it is. Aren’t all of ours?)
So let this one go at the needle pricks, instead of waiting to stab your heart (to borrow from a different post of yours.) He might love you. Hell, it sounds like you might love him. It’s still not worth it, and it sounds like you already know that. There’s a better love out there for you. One that you don’t have to doubt, one that won’t break your trust. Hugs to you, sweetie. Good luck with whatever you do with him. Sigh. Personally, I’d throw him back to the lions and let them sort him out. ;) That connection you feel with him you will find with someone else, I promise. Someone more worthy of you. And when you realize it’s finally with someone that you can TRUST completely…well that’s the goal, isn’t it? Not this guy. Screw the cub. Go find a fully maned lion!
I have to agree you. It comes to a point where someone gives you a false sense of control. So often we get wrapped up in the fantasy of “what can be” and we fool ourselves into believing that we can control our desired object to fit into that fantasy forgetting that, just like us, they have their own emotions and fantasies that we very sadly, cannot control try as hard as we might to fool ourselves into believing we can. That is the downside of this life we choose to live; unfortunately we can let fantasy dominate, which removes us and the ones we desire from taking real responsibility for emotions.
But I’ve learned (thankfully only through 1 major disappointment) that when I am in my full power, my partner follows the same lead. We know our roles without bathing in illusion and fantasy. There is no pushing & pulling, no “you better do this or else!”, no having to coax someone to be mine because they fear vulnerability or fragility. There is complete respect of oneself and the other person involved. If you want to be with me, you will do what it takes, I shouldn’t have to break myself or you into a million pieces in order for that to happen. That is what’s lacking, true respect. If someone feels any sort of respect for you, they will never allow your heart and mind to be in turmoil & we shouldn’t feel as if we have to break someone for them to be with us.
There is always the alternative. . . . it involves fire and screaming. . . his of course, followed by the knowledge of a job well done
Coug aka Torquemada
Sorry to hear that the ongoing journey of seeking that special connection is again teasing you with both wonder and pain, like the best and hottest curry ever that creeps into a deep crack in your lip. And then, somehow, into your eye and under your contact lens (wtf?).
However this ends up working out I would just like to say, honestly, that you face the continuing turbulence of relationships with far more courage and far more openness than anyone I’ve ever followed (and certainly more than I), and that you could probably totally kick a fully grown male Lion’s ass.
And frankly, he would be grateful for the Christmas pressy.