[SubmissiveGuyComics is also doing a post for our NaBloWriMo project, though he’s hiding some of them on Twitter so if you aren’t following him, you should… ]
There are people on the internet who will lie to you.
I KNOW RIGHT?!!
So shocking!!!
*laugh*
This is not a public service announcement.
I know people lie. Or hide things, BIG things. Of course I know this.
That doesn’t surprise or baffle me. People are greedy and selfish and want something and they will lie to get it. Or they’re just fucking about and think it’s all a a big game: it’s only the internet so it doesn’t matter. All sorts of things. Eh, that’s life.
But the thing that DOES surprise me is the ones who, when caught out, cannot see anything wrong with it. They will nearly always try and weasel out of it (slippery little suckers), but if they are really caught, and they know it, they’ll do some version of ‘Aw shucks, well yeah that was a lie, but now you know, so we’re good right?’ And when I say ‘nope, see ya’, THEY ARE BAFFLED.
A step further: When they can see that I’m definitely NOT okay with it, and don’t give a shit about their reasons or excuses, they will inevitably turn it on me (‘what’s wrong with you that you won’t give someone a second chance?!’ etc) because obviously there’s something wrong with ME that a lie is such a big deal.
THAT surprises me.
When it happens I feel like I’m looking at some kind of alien creature squirming in a bucket. Just… what the ever loving fuck?!
People are endlessly fascinating.
9 comments
Well, they are “alien creatures” in a sense. They just do not think the way you do.
It took a while, but eventually I came to accept that many people simply do no think the way I do. Before I really accepted this, I would wonder about how they could do that, why would anyone do that, etc.
Now, I just recognize that they think differently. They may have wildly different values, need someone to tell them what to believe, may be way out there on the sociopathic scale, etc.
So, now I recognize that, and move on with a shrug…
True!
I kind of like that I’m still surprised by it. It doesn’t happen that often, but the fact that I’m still shocked by it signals that I’m not yet so jaded or cynical that I *expect* it.
Give me time :P.
Ferns
Oh, I still get surprised by it too, smile. I agree that is a good thing.
It is just that now, having been surprised by it and pondered it enough, I can “agree to disagree” if you will, and move on without banging my head against the wall repeatedly, in dismay.
No need to rush into cynicism and jadedness…
Cheers!
greg
Yep!!!! “Just… what the ever loving fuck?!” Exactly!
~ Vista
Right?! *laugh*
Geez!
Ferns
Some of those very same people would think like you if YOU lied to THEM. For those, it’s not the lying that gets a pass, it’s themselves.
Ha! Such a good point. You are probably right.
Ferns
One of My subs I found out lied to me. Not a humungous one, not a lil white lie. Just an aspect of their life. They kept it up for a long time. It doesn’t really change dynamics or basic principles of our relationship nor the most important things about them. Except the trust.
They do feel very bad about it. If they had reacted like that, Id drop them like a hot potato. That show no real empathy and understanding for anothers life. This I cannot tolerate, even tho like some of you, I have come to understand it a bit better.
I make My sub go through each painful step of dealing with the fallout, with me. And he does. I am not fully through the process yet, nor know the full extent of damage yet. The core of who he is, is still pretty much the same. Knowing the reason why he did, though I dont agree with it-wasnt a good enough reason to do it, helps; though I do understand why. If he had been like the type of jacka** expressed, I could not/would not deal nor trust someone like that.
As it is, years til full on trust be restored. This one is worth it. Just weird to lie about such a thing, for so long. Itz actually not like him to do so.
But someone who seems to not care, and thinks both of them should move on cuz hes ready to. Really, wtf dude? Lols…
Thanks for your thoughts, and I do hope the work you are both doing to regain trust pans out.
My capacity for forgiveness of a lie is complex and the simplicity of this post was made easy because I was thinking about ‘people on the internet’ as people I haven’t met yet and the lie as something fundamental.
When they are loved ones, it gets a lot messier because emotions are involved and they obviously have a lot of qualities that I respect and admire or I’d not be with them. I suspect that a BIG lie would be devastating then and I don’t think I could deal, but a smaller lie might be worth trying to understand and work through.
To your point, though: people lie about the strangest things. And I’m no saint where that’s concerned.
Ferns