It is cold tonight, and I am, coincidentally, wearing three articles of clothing from boyfriends past.
It is unintentional, and sweet.
—
My sweatshirt, too big, an unattractive colour really, is one that I grabbed out of my first submissive’s ‘give away’ bag when we were clearing out clothes to take to good will. He probably had it for quite a while before I took it. I plucked it out of the box by the front door.
“I’ll have that,” I said, putting it on.
He looked at me in it.
“It looks good,” he said.
I laughed, twirled.
“It looks *really* good,” he said again.
I nodded. “Ahh hmmm…”
He looked at me sheepishly.
“Can I have it back?”
I looked at him, raised an eyebrow.
“What?!” I figured he was joking.
“It looks so good on you, I want it back.” He had the grace to look embarrassed.
“You have *got* to be kidding me! You were going to throw this out!”
“Yeah, I know… but it looks so good on you… Now I want it back… please Ma’am?”
*laugh* “Fuck off.”
—
My ugg boots were a gift from my vanilla ex. A simple, sweet gesture because my old ones were looking bedraggled and sad. In winter, I wear them around the house a lot, cosy warm and comfortable.
Winter officially starts tomorrow.
—
My t-shirt, a dark grey baggy thing, is old and impossibly soft. It was given to me by my ex boy.
All worn and used, I can’t remember when I first picked it up and put it on. Presumably he had been wearing it, and discarded it onto the bed. Maybe I picked it up one morning, waking up sleepy-naked and finding it there with his scent all over it. I might have slipped it over my head and felt closer to him. I wore it quite a few times, padding around at his place.
When I was packing to leave him, he watched me despondently. It was always a difficult thing. To leave each other.
He had the t-shirt in his hands. It probably smelled of me by then.
He shyly held it up, and said, “You like this t-shirt, don’t you?”
I smiled at him. “Yes, I do…”
He wavered, not knowing if I would think it would be ridiculous of him to offer: cheap, stupid.
“I’d like you to take it… if you would like to, Ma’am…”
I beamed at him.
“Yes, I’d truly love it. Thank you, boy.”
And then there was kissing, sweet as ever and a little sad.
I wore it a lot when we were apart, but I haven’t put it on for quite a while. Too much, too full of sadness and loss.
—
It is sweet to wear memories when they have softened, become things that you can pet gently and feel tender towards, when they can wrap you up warmly in the winter cold.
8 comments
Great post.
I have a ton of clothes from an ex-boyfriend. He had great taste in clothing plus he had a lot of Navy garb. When we were together, I’d rummage through his comfy clothes and wear them. When he knew I liked them or more importantly, he liked how I looked he just give the articles of clothing to me. We lived almost two hours apart so having his scent, or the visual of his clothing kept him close to me.
Sometimes I’d grab a tee-shirt he’d worn and take it home with me just to have his scent. If it didn’t have enough sent, I’d make him wear it a bit–“smell it up some” …lol, then I’d take it home. I have so many items of clothing from his that 4 or 5 days of the week, I am donning something of his. Winter months I can be dressed in him from head to toe :)
We’ve been apart 3 years now, we are still dear friends. He lives on the other side of country now. We met for dinner in April, he was wearing something I liked. I complimented him on the piece. He said, “it would look good on you, when I get home, I’ll send it [to you].”
-H
I’m glad you enjoyed it, and I can totally relate to the feeling of it being close-making when you are apart. It seems it’s almost a ‘thing’ for you (or maybe it was just for you and him in particular?).
“Winter months I can be dressed in him from head to toe”
*smile* That’s a great sentence.
Ferns
A long time ago a gf of mine gave me some bra and also some very nice panties.
While wearing them I feel so much closer to her.
We also slept together wearing the same nightgown (mine in a bigger size then hers) and it felt so nice to lay there together in the same outfit.
Not that it is constantly on my mind but I certainly have good memories about it.
Greetings.
Connie
That sounds sweet. It’s interesting how ‘things’ retain memories. I like that.
Ferns
Winter officially starts tomorrow.
Sometimes I forget that in addition to being covered in venomous monsters Australia is also crazy bizarro opposite land.
Is there a dissonance for you when watching movies about winter there’s always Christmas smack dab in the middle, or that Christmas decorations all have snow on them?
“Is there a dissonance for you when watching movies about winter there’s always Christmas smack dab in the middle, or that Christmas decorations all have snow on them?”
No, I grew up with it so it’s just ‘how it is’.
And yes, some decorations have pretend snow on them, and you can buy fake snow here to spray on your windows. PLUS anyone who dresses as Santa has to do it in 30C degree heat (that’s 86F for you Merikan types).
Poor Australian Santa…
Ferns
* sneers at the Aussie concept of winter,while watching our summer drip down the window*
Coug
*laugh* Yay English summer!! Only one jumper and a light raincoat, right?!!
Ferns