Brat Domme

There is a three year old who lives in my head… she might be a little older than that, but I imagine her at about three.

She is a selfish, demanding, unreasonable, spoilt little brat. She is not interested in logic, in reasoning, in consequences, she just wants things and she wants them NOW! And sometimes she *doesn’t* want things and will kick and scream and petulantly yell ‘No no NO!’

She can be incredibly funny and playful, but sometimes she is just a pain in the arse.

She is the one who whispers impractical things in my ear, urging me to stop worrying about consequences because that thing that I want is right there right now and SHE WANTS IT!

She is also the one who drags along behind, whining and complaining, when I have to do things that are boring or unpleasant. She will dig her heels in and claw at the ground to stop me dragging her along with me to do something she hates. She will try and talk me out of it. She is the one who wants chocolates for dinner and never any vegetables.

As a Domme, the brat is fun, and sometimes I let her out to play. She is the one who will do mean things just because she can, who will pout and be completely unreasonable, demand impossible things and get cranky when they can’t be done. She is the one who will laugh with delight at his confusion, at the unfairness, she will make him do silly things for her amusement, she will be incredibly annoying just to see what he will do, she will poke at him because it makes her laugh. She is both playful and petulant.

I like her well enough most of the time and I really like it when she does things that make my submissive roll his eyes because I find that really adorable. I mean, regardless, he will go along with what she wants, no matter how unreasonable she is being, because what else is he gonna do, right?

Loves: 6
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34 comments

  1. I have one of those little brats inside me too. He went and smashed my laptop on the floor last night after getting frustrated at all the errors he was getting. It looks like he got into the beer stash as well.

    ~sigh~ Kids these days.

    1. Slaptop, quick, complain to customer services. I think that you ought to get another one free. I did.

      Satan

  2. I here im that guy who is desperate to please and i know i got no choice but to try like u said what else can i do.

  3. She is a selfish, demanding, unreasonable, spoilt little brat. She is not interested in logic, in reasoning, in consequences, she just wants things and she wants them NOW! And sometimes she *doesn’t* want things and will kick and scream and petulantly yell ‘No no NO!’

    I’m sorry, were you and I married for a few years in the 80s?

  4. Hello Goddess Ferns

    i just recently stumbled across Your Blog and have spent hours reading through Your archived posts. Wishing i could clone you and spread Your DNA virally across the planet. Interested? ;-)

    Seriously i do not understand the lack of Equilibrium in a world that is built scientifically on balance, life itself osmosis, every chemical reaction. Here is my math.

    You are absolutely refreshing, and unfortunately in my opinion one in a million which means there are only an estimated 7000 beautiful intelligent women who have Your predilection and mindset. We know there are more than a few million subs out there.

    I would love to see some real numbers but my guess based upon members of alt.com and Fetlife. There are more submissive than dominants the dominants seem to be mostly men, the women seem to be mostly submissive. The Women who are dominant are at least 50% Professional Dommes.

    How could there be such an unbalance, one of life’s greatest injustices.

    please continue to share and spread Your DNA.
    Humbly Yours
    michael

    1. *smile* Thank you for the sweetness, michael.

      As for DNA, you can come to my house anytime and you will find strands of my long blonde hair *everywhere*… there is plenty of cloning material.

      “I would love to see some real numbers but my guess based upon members of alt.com and Fetlife. There are more submissive than dominants…”

      I don’t think that online numbers are a good measure of actuals. I think that many many men on fetish websites are simply horny men looking for cyber sex or an easy lay. At real life meets, I often hear dominant women complaining that there are very few single submissive men there, so depending where you are, you might find the same.

      Ferns

  5. To do list for the three-year old brat Domme:

    1. Learn to tie shoes (rope skills)
    2. Learn to play drums (impact play)
    3. Purchase temporary tattoos (for leaving marks)
    4. Buy itty-bitty-baby-bullwhip
    5. Find boy at day care to eat your vegetables for you
    6. nap

  6. 1. Be honest with her.
    2. Listen to her.
    3. Give her your time and be patient with her.
    4. Explain when and why it is safe to play and when and why it is not safe.
    5. Explain that she can grow, cook and eat some veg. with you but only if she would like to do that.
    6. Show that you are pleased when she is good.
    Satan

  7. @ Satan
    Yep, I did that. Seeing as it’s a company supplied laptop, another one is already winging it’s way to me.

  8. Good for you that you can play like that, Miss. A broken whimsy can be a handicap; there is more to life than never being annoying.

    1. “…there is more to life than never being annoying.”

      That is such a great comment!

      And whimsy is right. Petulant, annoying, stompy, stubborn, selfish, greedy whimsy!!

      Ferns

  9. How well do you play with smart asses? I get you probably don’t want a bratty sub, but does being a perpetual wise-ass mean a guy wouldn’t work for you?

    I have this friend who was wondering…

    1. Ha! Depends.

      Some smart-arsery is fun and funny and playful, I love that.

      Some smart-arsery is about disrespect and power struggles, I hate that.

      There is a line. THIS side of the line is fine, THAT side of the line gets him kicked on out his very smart arse.

      Ferns

        1. I don’t really believe I have an ‘inner Domme’ any more than I believe I have an ‘inner sister’ or an ‘inner friend’ or an ‘inner bitch’. People are complex, multi-faceted creatures. All parts make up the whole, no? Just sometimes those parts are easier to identify than others.

          Ferns

  10. I’m fortunate enough to have a partner who is just the right kind of smart ass for me and who can take it as well as he can dish it out. And also a partner who isn’t a smart ass but enjoys my bratting. Plus they both know I win ;)

  11. haha… Though I think mines closer to 5 or 6 where that fierce independent streak starts. God help you if you try to tell me no, I’ll probably run off and do it any way…just to prove I can too.

    Love that list Dumb Domme

    1. Learn to tie shoes (rope skills)
    Are you kidding? We went straight to tying up the little sister

    2. Learn to play drums (impact play)
    On his butt cheeks!

    3. Purchase temporary tattoos (for leaving marks)
    Or practice art skills with sharpie pens

    4. Buy itty-bitty-baby-bullwhip
    Wet pool towels work really well

    5. Find boy at day care to eat your vegetables for you
    :)

    6. nap
    While he rubs your hair or feet or back

    1. “I think mines closer to 5 or 6 where that fierce independent streak starts. God help you if you try to tell me no, I’ll probably run off and do it any way…just to prove I can too.”

      *laugh* Yes, exactly that!!

      Ferns

  12. Be kind to brats

    OR ELSE :)

    And now that Mistress Ferns is trembling in her boots, I will just say it’s nice to come here and regain some of the humor that is often lacking these days.

    Hugs,

    The Clarence Brat
    who is sorry he has been neglecting to say a peep from time to time but has been a bit depressed about blogs lately.

    1. “And now that Mistress Ferns is trembling in her boots”

      I was totally trembling!

      “who is sorry he has been neglecting to say a peep from time to time but has been a bit depressed about blogs lately.”

      Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Stop reading the depressing blogs and go and look at cute pictures of cats! I think the internet has some of those…

      Ferns

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