break up project/  my boy

The Break Up Project

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We have had a difficult time in the past couple of weeks, but then break ups aren’t meant to be easy.

I have been disappointed and angry at some of the choices he made in dealing with it because they caused me unnecessary pain. He chose to withdraw from me at a time when I had assumed that we were in this difficult situation together, gentle and sad and united, hurt and supportive of each other, even if we couldn’t work it out. I have been angry through this, really angry and upset, and I rarely get angry like that. … Continue Reading

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my boy

And so it goes

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We were both upset, he was sorry…

I whispered to him, “I know you did your best, your very best for me, for as long as you could…”

And then, he cried.

Later, after he was gone, I cried also.


… Continue Reading
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randomness

Pregnant!

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I have a unique name. When I self-google (oh, come on! Like you never!), all of the entries that come up are me.

I discovered today that there is a woman with my name living here in my rather small city and she goes to the same doctor’s office as me!! It has kind of blown my mind! How do I know this, you may well ask?!

I went to the doctor today. It’s a busy practice and I don’t really care who I see, so the doctor that I met with doesn’t know me. He looks at my belly, … Continue Reading

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the other men/  vanilla

Flavour of vanilla

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Once upon a time, I went out with vanilla boys, before I found any BDSM community, and after also. I was thinking recently about vanilla and submissive dates… they are quite different in my experience. Submissive men tend to wait, they are a little afraid of taking initiative in case they get it wrong, so they wait to be led, which is fine with me, but there are many many ways to show interest that can hardly turn out badly. All they need to do is ask themselves the question ‘will this make her happy?’ Vanilla men take that initiative, … Continue Reading

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musing/  QnA

‘Force’ as a kink *

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Nobody ever talks about ‘force’ as a kink.

We frequently hear about ‘forced’ activities, but the focus is always on the activity rather than the force.

Now, I know the term ‘force’ raises some hackles, so how about we say force = coercion? It doesn’t have to be physical, it can be mental or emotional or simply ‘force of will’.

So let me set a scene. I *make* my boy do something that he genuinely doesn’t like (not a hard limit)… No gun to his head – I may shove him about, use my serious ‘don’t fuck with me’ voice, … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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my boy

The path

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I wrote this on a discussion board recently:

Wilful disobedience is a signal that something is wrong, and if you don’t understand and fix the underlying problem, it’s a fast path to nowhere.

My boy has been wilfully disobedient recently. It *is* a signal that something is wrong, I *do* understand what the problem is, but I can’t fix it. *We* can’t fix it, even though we both want to. We are on a path to nowhere, not a fast path, but a determined one, a slogging, ponderous, soul-heavy path.

Sometimes, as much as I wish I could make everything … Continue Reading

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links

e[lust] #11

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Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #12? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Sometimes poly IS hard – The difficulties one faces in managing healthy interpersonal relationships, and the skills one employs in overcoming those difficulties, are the same whether you … Continue Reading

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