musing

Curmudgeon

47 Comments

I often feel like some old curmudgeon when I see how the Youth today ‘do’ D/s and BDSM.

It makes me laugh to say that because I’m not ‘old guard’ or ‘old school’ (I don’t even really know what those entail to be honest), but I DO find myself looking at discussions and going “OMG, really?!” and then shaking my head at them and then at myself because GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!

And mostly, what young people are doing is Really Good Stuff. They are, for the most part, smart and thoughtful and considerate and concerned and all … Continue Reading

Loves: 21
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sent emails

My sent emails XXXVIII

10 Comments

Hello Dave,

Thank you for the compliments, I do appreciate it. And it’s such a shame, I really liked your approach. You seem smart, funny, and possibly awesome.

But here’s the thing: You have lied to me once already. So now I can’t believe anything you say.

I gave you a chance to tell me that the torso shot is not of you. I know it’s a shot of Channing Tatum. I had hoped that you would just say so when I asked. Instead you pretended it was you.

I don’t know why you did that, but a lie … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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links

e[lust] #51

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Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #52? Start with the newly updated rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

7 (Random!) Suggestions for Dominant Types!

Pain Positive

i know what you are.

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Golden Girl

Have You Met Larry… Continue Reading

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about me/  musing

Vulnerability as courage

46 Comments

Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness.
It’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.

– Brene Brown, Power of Vulnerability (TED talk)

I struggle with making myself vulnerable. It’s no secret.

I’ve talked about it before in different ways: With some depth here, and more recently here.

I feel vulnerable at times, of course, but I show it very selectively, with reluctance, and I don’t like how it feels. It’s hard for me. If you want to see what my vulnerability looks like, well, it looks like … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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musing/  play

How do I get my sub floaty-high?

21 Comments

When I play with pain I usually start with a gentle warm up, then I ramp it up as he gets used to it. I keep an eye on his reactions, slow it down when he looks like he is reaching the edge of his tolerance, then ramp it up again after he comes back a little, each time going a little harder etc. And I generally keep going until I think he’s had enough. Where that point is depends on what I was trying to do with him, but if I’m pushing, by the time I stop he will … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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about me/  QnA

On punishment

19 Comments

A reader question:

“In a recent thread on FetLife you mentioned that you use punishment as part of your dynamic, while both recognizing and agreeing with the reasons some do not.

How does punishment work in your relationships? Removal of privileges? Some kind of physical punishment? Something else entirely?”

I did mention that, yes. For the record, my comment is here (requires Fetlife login), and the pertinent paragraph was:

Those who don’t like punishment dynamics generally fall into three camps: The ‘Talk about it!’ camp, the ‘He’s not a child’ camp or the ‘It doesn’t work’ camp. I get a

… Continue Reading
Loves: 22
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shit Ferns says

Shit Ferns says #11

8 Comments

Random stuff, no context…

…”all the best with all the oral sex you are going to be having…” and now I feel super creepy and weird…

Yes, I AM too stupid to use sex toys, it’s TRUE!

…people talking to my ass is just uncomfortable for everyone concerned…

Well, okay, fine. I suction-cupped a dildo to the fridge. Doesn’t everyone do that?

“If only you’d done your kegel exercises, flabby-vagina bitches!”

QUOTES DO NOT DIFFERENTIATE SMARTARSERY FROM NON SMARTARSERY!!!

“Please STFU and Just Look Pretty: How to Please Your Casual Partner”

…bring me pomegranates deseeded onto the body of a

… Continue Reading
Loves: 10
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