I am doing fine. Thank you all for the kind thoughts and the support. I appreciate it very much.
It is disappointing, but I was pretty careful not to get too emotionally invested in it before meeting, so while it is sad, it is not really a heart-bruise, if you know what I mean. It’s more that I was so hopeful and the hopes are now dashed than dealing with the pain of “I truly thought he was the one”. There is sadness and disappointment and there are random swimmy depressing thoughts, but not ‘hurt’, if you know what I mean.
At the moment, I am settling back into normality. It will take a little while, I think.
The hardest thing is that I now don’t have that same exciting anticipatory contact full of promise and flirting that I had in those months before I left. It was so full of wonderful possibility, of potential for heart-aching happiness. I miss it madly.
Still, e and I are being sweet with each other in the aftermath. I miss threatening to punch him in the sternum, and he misses being threatened (see how sweet we are?!). We essentially spent 2 weeks in each others pockets, we talked and laughed and teased and bristled and argued and generally became really close, despite the fact that there was no chemistry. We are patting and nudging each other a little with cute emails, so there is some loveliness there as we each adjust.
On the upside, I am beyond glad that I don’t have to deal with the stress of figuring out next steps, including the logistics of relocation, if it HAD been wonderful. So there’s that (see that, that’s positive thinking, that is!)!
11 comments
Hey Ferns,
You are fucking awesome. That is all.
Bunny
*smile* Thank you for thinking so, and saying it out loud!
Ferns
Seconded yes she is
Coug
Awww… sweetness, thank you!
Ferns
Yeah, I always say this out loud, ant then the people around me look at me funny.
I think you might be fibbing to me.
Now you have to actually go somewhere and do it for real and report back!
Ferns
And if I’m fibbing, whaterya gonna do?
I’ll lose that lovely bond of trust that we have where I believe everything you tell me, Peroxide.
Ferns
It’ll be fine. Go out, enjoy yourself. Speaking from experience: you’ll find someone when you stop looking. Plus: being single is pretty awesome, too!
“It’ll be fine.”
Hey, I said I was fine already! Are you calling me a liar? Are you?! Are we going to have to step out into the car park? I’m scrappy you know!
“Speaking from experience: you’ll find someone when you stop looking.”
I agree. I never look. Ever. That’s how I found e!
Wait… you are not helping! *laugh*
“Plus: being single is pretty awesome, too!”
That’s true, especially when you are a selfish introvert like me… heh.
Ferns
The universe puts us where we are suppose to be. e was put in your path for a reason. Maybe to be reminded of that spark and the reason you were looking. Shame and all that to not work out… yes yes… been there… had too much ice cream over that.
But now… on to the next adventure… whatever it or he may be!
YOU ARE FINE! And you gots some great shoes n new toys! whoooo