I want to post something just to get my last off the top of the page.
I’d like it to be something more interesting, but emotionally, I am kind of tired of looking inward, and physically I am just tired. No doubt I will dissect this and rabbit on about it endlessly when I get home, but for now, I am pushing introspection aside.
Despite this trip not turning out as I had hoped, I am having a wonderful time and e is going to a lot of effort to look after me, which I love of course. Last night, over a wine tasting, he walked me through our ‘calendar of events’ for my remaining time here (no kidding, he has a calendar). I added ‘shoe shopping’ and ‘harness shopping’ to it (which were on our original ‘to do’ list, and which will have a different flavour now of course, but still, the range will be much more extensive here than at home, so I’m still keen to do both). Our schedule is filled with food and wine and art and some social events. Given that I am by nature hideously anti-social, the change of pace is probably good for me.
As for e and me: we have an easy warm and familiar affection, lots of laughter, teasing, and gentle touching. He is naturally very ‘gentlemanly’, which is lovely to be around. Having said that, he is also terribly bossy, which makes me laugh, and when we clash (which we do), it is often because we are butting heads about random minor things where we have misunderstood each other, or we have opposing opinions, and neither will give way. I sometimes just agree with him with a resigned “Ahh hmmm…” because I really don’t like to argue (I suspect he would argue with me about that… heh…), and he rolls his eyes at me a lot. If we lived in the same city, I think we would be great friends.
I’ve already forgotten what is in the schedule for today, but I will go and shower now, try to wake up properly with more coffee, and look forward to heading out into the relentless sunshine.
18 comments
Even if it turn out the way you wanted, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. Who knows, after getting in some good socializing time, you just might not become a crazy cat lady after all.
“after getting in some good socializing time, you just might not become a crazy cat lady after all.”
Don’t be ridiculous, I am SO becoming crazy cat lady!!
Ferns
why is crazy cat lady such a bad thing??? I’m so looking forward to it! We will get to wear the BEST HATS! Don’t listen to him! We should start a hat exchange!
/crazy cat lady secret handshake
*furtively does the crazy cat lady secret handshake… twitches… hisses… looks around suspiciously*
Ferns
Oooh hats I’m in
Coug
Just to be clear, crazy cat lady hats tend to look like this… you do realise that, right?
Ferns
pfft mine will be like this…
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRj8HCHAgLn-4QT1gGtgioM459yWFyWf53lcKJWtTtBjBIV2hANJey7eoQE
Coug
Ferns, I think that I like your e. But he is odd though. I hope you are not still sad.
Satan
I like my e also, and yes he is odd. I, on the other hand, am not odd. Ever. I am perfectly un-odd. Of course.
I’m assuming right now that you didn’t notice the crazy cat lady secret handshake… of course you didn’t.
“I hope you are not still sad.”
I am still disappointed, of course. Who isn’t disappointed every day that they don’t fall madly in love? I think that’s natural, but not sad.
Ferns
I’ve been following your tweets and the occasional post and I’m glad that while things didn’t go as hoped, they are still going pretty well.
As for me, just dropping in to say that, and now I will go and imagine you in the shower…
“…now I will go and imagine you in the shower…”
Am I still in there? I must be squeaky clean by now! Oh wait, can you scrub that bit between my shoulder blades…
Ferns
“Am I still in there?”
No, currently you are happily carrying Clarence Junior…
*imagines your reaction to that very THOUGHT!*
Runs!!!
Seriously, why do you THINK I imagined you in the shower? I might spend all day servicing your toes and making sure you are squeaky clean and not even dare anything but a single slap of your Dommly bum (recognizing the fact that in any interaction between us you would be 99.5 percent the Dom but thinking I can “get away” with that .5 percent), BUT…well, I’m a man, sexy lady :)
Anyway, now that you need brain bleach at the thought of having a little tyke, my bratty work is done for the day…
“*imagines your reaction to that very THOUGHT!*”
*laugh* No dear Clarence, you overestimate the impact of such ludicrous thoughts. It garners a quick and amused passing glance before I move on to… oh look, shiny!!
“Seriously, why do you THINK I imagined you in the shower?”
Well, obviously you have a cleanliness fetish…! Duh!
Ferns
No. I thought all women were odd. Most men are odd. Not me though. Nope.
I notice no secret handshakes. Your hand shake was like mine. All secret like. Not that I noticed.
Happy Valentine’s Day,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0iyHGtE-PD8
Satan
Awww, that was a beautiful beautiful clip. I can only dream of such a thing…
Ferns
I think we’re all a little odd Ferns. In this group, I don’t mean that as a pejorative either.
Being ‘odd’ has made accessible to me the most significant, intensely intimate, and deeply profound experiences that I’ve ever had in my entire life. But that all-enduring, complete and total connection is something that I just can’t seem to find.
I’m sorry about e. I enjoyed following your posts. I’ve felt that same enthusiasm myself. But unfortunately, that ending was way too familiar too.
So while ‘odd’ may be awesome for energizing our spirits, strengthening our resolve and setting our imaginations free….I’m starting to think it’s not so conducive to that lasting bond we were all hoping you’d find.
I’m not saying any of this to discourage you. Rather I want to remind you of your older posts, or rather a time when you were happier. Because even that is the absolute best you can ever hope for….I really don’t think it’s so bad.
“So while ‘odd’ may be awesome for energizing our spirits, strengthening our resolve and setting our imaginations free….I’m starting to think it’s not so conducive to that lasting bond we were all hoping you’d find.”
*smile* That sounds oddly like I think that e is odd in a way that the rest of us aren’t. So just to clarify, I was really joking with Satan in agreeing that e is odd. He isn’t, he is perfectly odd and imperfect like the rest of us (not just ‘us here’, but ‘us out there in the world’). And I agree with you, it’s not a pejorative.
Either way, I think oddness, like everything else we bring to a relationship, has to be complementary, the various oddnesses have to fit together.
I will find my complementary odd. I just know it.
Ferns