New and shiny…

Do you know how hugely nerve wracking it is to change the template on your blog?

The feeling of fear is out of all proportion to the thing I am actually doing (a fear of breaking things, of not being able to go back (how apropos!), and a general fear of change from the familiar). As if it really matters!

It doesn’t, I know…

This is the break up equivalent of a new hairstyle…

It’s terribly bright isn’t it *~squinting… puts on shades~*

Feel free to tell me if you like it, hate it, or really couldn’t care less

(Edited Continue Reading

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What’s broken is enough

I didn’t say that this was gonna be easy
And I know that you know how to please me

I close my eyes…
I voice my fears…
I close my heart, ’cause what’s broken is enough
So open your ears, this is the sound of breaking up

What is this ‘Break Up Project’ and why are you suddenly only posting song clips?!Continue Reading

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The Break Up Project

We have had a difficult time in the past couple of weeks, but then break ups aren’t meant to be easy.

I have been disappointed and angry at some of the choices he made in dealing with it because they caused me unnecessary pain. He chose to withdraw from me at a time when I had assumed that we were in this difficult situation together, gentle and sad and united, hurt and supportive of each other, even if we couldn’t work it out. I have been angry through this, really angry and upset, and I rarely get angry like that. … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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And so it goes

We were both upset, he was sorry…

I whispered to him, “I know you did your best, your very best for me, for as long as you could…”

And then, he cried.

Later, after he was gone, I cried also.


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Loves: 4
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Pregnant!

I have a unique name. When I self-google (oh, come on! Like you never!), all of the entries that come up are me.

I discovered today that there is a woman with my name living here in my rather small city and she goes to the same doctor’s office as me!! It has kind of blown my mind! How do I know this, you may well ask?!

I went to the doctor today. It’s a busy practice and I don’t really care who I see, so the doctor that I met with doesn’t know me. He looks at my belly, … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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Flavour of vanilla

Once upon a time, I went out with vanilla boys, before I found any BDSM community, and after also. I was thinking recently about vanilla and submissive dates… they are quite different in my experience. Submissive men tend to wait, they are a little afraid of taking initiative in case they get it wrong, so they wait to be led, which is fine with me, but there are many many ways to show interest that can hardly turn out badly. All they need to do is ask themselves the question ‘will this make her happy?’ Vanilla men take that initiative, … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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‘Force’ as a kink *

Nobody ever talks about ‘force’ as a kink.

We frequently hear about ‘forced’ activities, but the focus is always on the activity rather than the force.

Now, I know the term ‘force’ raises some hackles, so how about we say force = coercion? It doesn’t have to be physical, it can be mental or emotional or simply ‘force of will’.

So let me set a scene. I *make* my boy do something that he genuinely doesn’t like (not a hard limit)… No gun to his head – I may shove him about, use my serious ‘don’t fuck with me’ voice, … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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